Wish you are leading a different life? I'm feeling more of that recently, more then ever. No, my life ain't as bad as what you think. It just wasn't great. It is not as happening, impactful, fulfilling, fun and satisfied as it should be. I wanna be there and done that. Wanna be able to lead a life really perfect. Have really nice lifestyle like what you've seen on The O.C. I mean, there are people my age in Singapore who are really up there making things happen. The sad thing is that i am waiting for things to happen. (Realise it shamefully) Tsk tsk... I have the drive, the energy and the ambition. How to find the opportunity?
Anyway, that's kinda too far-fetched to think about still. In present, I don't even have money to pay my bills. Oh man, i am becoming so depress by my non-existance achievement. Phew... Somebody save me from myself. I'm poisoning my own thoughts. I need money! So sad...
You know, i was just thinking why do good girls always got stuck with jerks? And it's not that they have no choice but to be with them. They have all the available choices they can make from. But why?? It's always the bad guys that make them fall so hard? Where have all the good guys gone to? Why aren't they around to save the good girls? I'm talking from observations. I simply hate those assholes who trampled on girls just because those girls need them. That's not love anymore. It's blackmailing! Love ain't like that and should never be. People fall in love like the speed of sending an sms. By doing so, you are actually falling in love with the people you want him to be. You thought he was like all you imagine how your bf would be. And that guy suddenly become the 'One' you have been waiting for all your life. So you slowly fall in love with this guy and worship upon the ground he walked on. You know you love him. Or rather you thought you love him. And he knows that you cannot live without him.... And he took advantage of that very fact and remove all his sheep's clothing. The wolf emerge.... By then, when the girl saw the wolf, she has already fallen deep in love. She won't care if the guy is a sheep or just a pile of shit. Girls are vulnerable in this way. They get used and abused mentally yet still refuse to go. I have seen so much of these. From friends and even myself. I have not met any real asshole yet but still i know i can fall into the cycle. Just hope that some good guy can come to catch me fall...
Still in the transitional period. Have not found what i'm looking for. It's taking a long time partly because i don't know what am i looking for. Someone very wise once told me that i may spend a lifetime looking. People do spend a lifetime looking for what they want. They are not silly. At least they don't settle for anything less. Other just lead a life that was given to them thinking that it is enough. What i say is: "Find your spirit and follow it!"
To Him: I know you are making efforts and i feel so happy. Just how long can you last? How long can we still go on?
1 comment:
girl, you make me go nodding my head when you were pouring your thoughts. it seem so real, and can we conclude that only the opposite attracts? i hvae fall in the similar trap too, but unconsciously i dont mind getting hurt at that pt of time still hoping for that "hopeful" miracle.. you know what, im still as silly like a fool thinking of him these few days.. i dont want to worship the ground he walked on and i dont want to believe that he's the "one" i perceive him as. can i? give me some hope, not rejection. give me a light of sunshine, not room for diapoointment. you know what, i envy you, seriously, you dont know what's good for you until he's gone. cherish everything now, evil or good, it's something you will cry over when it's gone, cos you are in love with him. pls, i beg for him, see the good side of him, it isnt too much to do that right? you do wish that he'll be fair to you when you're at fault and trying your very best to make amendments right? give him that chance. you can do it, give him hope to love you whole-heartly too. it's worth the run. =)
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