Birthday Blues...

I bumped into my primary school classmates on the way to dinner. In the end we met up for coffee with another girl. 3 of us was sitting at the coffee joint talking about our life. It just came to me that i have known them for 10 years! Getting old i guess... Then they had friends to joins us. This guy was like 20 yrs old and driving a BMW convertibles. Gosh! Anyway i was in one last nitez for the first time. Music was thumping and i can feel the wind in my hair. A lot of wind i mean.! Hehe... I wasn't too fazed by it i guess. It wasn't mine.

My mum kept asking me if i would like to celebrate my 21st birthday. She wants to hold a chalet for me. Too bad... It's too late to book one now. Fully booked by now. It's just 2 weeks away anyway. I hate it! i mean i really don't want a chalet. Too clique. But where can i hold the celebration then? I wish i was still staying in Elias Green. Oh man! maybe i can have it at Elias Green! Then it will be a poolside party. Hafta call my aunt or Weixiong to help me out! But then it will be too far for many people and it's so inaccessible there. Hmmm.... Sickening. I seriously want to celebrate it. Mum's gonna pay part of it. I have always wanted a poolside party. But then again, nobody will want to swim, except me. Hahaz.. See... who can i invite? Well i guess i might get my retribution because alot of my friends ask me to their chalet and i ended up skipping it altogether. Anyway maybe most of my good friends will turn up. Definately not my BF. Kinda sad to want to have a birthday celebration and knowing that your BF won't turn up. Reasons? Work. Or maybe work is just an excuse. He don't want to see my family and friends. People! i think i need a slap on my face. Wake me up. What am i still doing with him? Seriously, when i have zero contact with him, i think of all the reasons why i should end it. When the min he calls, all the thoughts seem to have grow wings and fly away! Haiz... I seems to always be able to relate all of him to my unhappiness. Im not gudging him, just need a place where i can shout-up. Not to you all. But to get it off me.

I just recieved a call from my God-ma asking me what i want for my present. I think i will be stressed out by this birthday. If in the end nothing happens, don't be surprise. Because i can capable of pulling a no stunt show. LOLz.. When things get too much for me to handle. I guess i have to deal with it. It's once in my lifetime see...

I was home at about 2am last nitez after cruising around. Waited for his call till 4.30am. Talked for an hour and he begged me to let him go sleep. Duh? He called to accompanied him so that he won't fall asleep while driving. Now that my value is expired he thinks im a liability? HAahz... The thing is i can't sleep till 9.30am in the morning. Been tossing and turning throughout. Think so much thoughts. Wendy, i am really waiting for you. Let's do something we can profit upon. But what? The thing about me is i want many things. And i know i can do it. Be up there. But i don't know how. Very sad because when u are ambitious but you have no open doors, it is as good as nothing. What can i do seriously? Such a bummer who got up at noon and sleeps in the morning. My life need a facelift! People!! Those of you who have any ideas or plans, please get together and we think of something to do to make $$. I know it sounds crappy. It's an invitation anyway. We'll never know right?

Going out soon. For lunch (alone) =( and heading to indoor stadium for my church event. FCBC thingy... Ok... till then.

OUTZ