deafening silent

A polite phone call, gentle greetings and awkward conversation points out that everything is NOT ok in a relationship or even friendship. Where has all the teasing, laughters and mundane talks gone to? Instead, all are replace by uncomfortable silent. The silent is deafening... You can hear it so loud in your ears.

When will all these ends? Waiting for each others to say the word? I know its not cuz of pride and silly childish reasons. It because this is not what we want... To be apart... For my case, i have put in everything that i can, tolerating everything... I seriously like him alot. His humourous wit, his boyish actions, the way he sometimes seems to care for me, the feelings i have telling me he is actually lonely deep down inside. Maybe when u fall, you will accept his flaws too... For his case, he hasn't want it bad enough to do something about it... To get me back... It all depends on him now. The ball is in his court. However, i know what will the outcome be. It just depends on when! ='(

I was working last nitez. Enjoy every moment of it.. The band "Duo Tones" with Dan and Randoff was simply amazing. Especially Randoff. I was captivated! They are the reason by i work every mon evening. Hehe... They played songs like 'Imagine', 'Englishman in NY', 'Don't dream its over', 'knocking on heaven's door'. My all-time fav is "Don't know what's like". Goes like this... 'Baby, you don't know what it's like. Baby you don't know what it's like. To love somebody, to love somebody, the way... I love you". "Duo Tones" just moved me and words don't do justice to them. If you wanna catch their performance, be at Harry's Holland V on Wed evening. They will be there.

My gosh... I was tormented by tension headache yst. I tot it was gone for good. But anyway, they are coming back less frequent. The last time was last yr nov. And then yst. So it's good news. They are silent killer. I really wish to drive my head against the wall to stop the pain. I have read articles that people really do that! OR they kept hitting their heads. It's that bad! I think those who have it constantly knows what i mean. Anyway i fell asleep while trying to suppress the pain. Recieved a call at 3.15am. Was him.. I guess it was his way of winding down his day. We talked for bout an hour then he went to bed. Gosh... I couldn't sleep till when Ben left for school which is about 6.30am! I know it sounded silly talking in the middle of the nitez and make myself insomaic but that's the only time we had. I really cherished the time. =)

Meeting wendy later for my doc's appt. Don't wanna go alone. Maybe going for dinner with her too.. She is rushing for her project. Feel kinda bad to drag her to town. Shall ask her again if she really wants to or not. Oh..

Decided to get an ipod mini for Xueli's birthday. Need to go check out the price at Sim Lim square later. Birthday party at her place this coming saturday. I have got a church event actually... But no way i will miss going to her place. She might kill me. Literally... Talking bout that, my own birthday is coming up too. Seriously have no idea how to spend it. Don't wish to just get by it. Really wish it to be memorable! =(
Have not even gotten jinwen's pressy. We wanna buy her an Okley shades. Gotta wait for my paycheck. I'm broke as hell... I asked Alvin what job can provide me with salary but yet i can don't need to work. His reply: "Get married" LOLz... Silly guy.

Anyway.. got to go..


"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm5:3 NIV