Was invited to a so-called best friend 21st birthday yesterday. Turn out to be a disaster. No, the party went on really well. With ample F&B, cool people around and... well basically well... But the moment i was there (8.30pm) till maybe the end of everything, i was not acknowledge at all. I mean, i am not trying to be petty or what. But seriously, i think that girl has a serious attitude problem. A major, big-timed f*cked up issue. Not only there wasn't even a hello, help yourself with everything. But there wasn't even a single spoken conversation until maybe she realised that i am damn unhappy about it. I mean... Who in the world will treat a good friend this way? She basically treat everyone like a million bucks but when it comes to us (me and the other girls who are her closer frd), we are doormat. HELLO! Then don't invite us in the first place. I am bearing this thoughts for the longest time. I think she is DELIBERATELY doing this to me because she knows that this friendship means a lot to me. She just love to see me be tormented by her actions. Well... maybe subconsiciously i guess.... Well... i guess that she really put a full stop to our so-called friendship. I may sound so childish here. But i'm really bad at conveying my feelings into text so you might not really get the gist out of it. In short, i am hurt, angry, frustrated and disappointed in her. My best friend in the whole world.
I have putting up with her behaviour for as long. I console myself that 'she is like that'. But then i think it is unfair for me to be in this friendship where i feel that i am taken for a ride. She just show her 'holier than thou' attitude to me all the time whenever there are third party around. But when we are together, it's back to the old days. Teach me how to discern this behaviour. I'm simply clueless. She is the one person whom hurt me the deepest and the most number of times. YZ can testified to it. Right boy? I think i have to be firm. I mean, this is not a one-of kinda event. It happens so many times till i am numbed and normalised it. But it should not be the case. I should stand up for myself. Seriously, i am so afraid of her because i am so afraid of having less friends. I pity myself at times. Haiz... If a relationship is not balanced, it will topple sooner or later. Friends should not be someone who stand above u all the time. But someone who will stand behind, in front and beside of you depending on situations. God! help me to forgive people who have hurt me.
At nitez, i met up with him and we went sentosa for a ride. Very nice place for nitez partying with friends. Music, booze, clan in swimsuit, swimming under the moonlight. I really like that. He helps me to lighten my mood a bit. Told him what happen at her place. Felt better... Then went for supper and then headed home. Finally.... I spent significant time with him! haven done that for ages. Went ikea with him today. Stomach been feeling very bad today. Weak. Might have taken too much food. LOLZ... The furniture at ikea can really make one want to settle down and have a family. Seems so nice and cosy. That's my wish too... (*Blushz*)
Oh, btw, i might be holding my birthday at sun plaza park's bbq pit. Just at my void deck. Invite some friends and relatives over. Gonna be a small party. Initmate. I like... :p. Be sure to come if i invite u. If i haven, come anyway. And now.... most importantly.... drumroll........... YZ wants me to mention him. Hahaz.... My self proclaim besttttttttttt guy friend. Well... he is a very very nice guy. Been there for me when i am going through hell. Friends like that, you cannot forget. And you won't forget. :) Happy not? Can't sleep tonight already right? k... sign off now..
OUtz
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