VICTORY is a process. It doesn't happen only at the finishing line. It is actually the sum of many small victories. And if in the process of obtaining that VICTORY, you give up, all the small victories actually counts for nothing.
The small victories come first when you decided to set your mind in obtaining that VICTORY, it is the small little steps along the way where you tell yourselves to take yet another step even when you feel that you cannot, it is banishing all the negative thoughts and fears that tell you that you are never able to make it. It is going beyond your limits one small step at a time.
I had that revelation when I was running for my virgin 21KM.
Negative thoughts hit me just at the 2KM mark. "Christine, you are not going to make it. You still have 19KM to go. Your body won't be able to take it as you have yet to recover from your flu". The mind get bombared by all sort of negative thoughts telling me to give up. I looked at MArk running beside me and decide to just go on another KM. - small victory
At 4KM, I told MArk I need to consume the power gel as I needed more energy. Never have I expected the sheer disgusting taste within that small silver pack. My stomach rejected that immeditately but I force it down with water anyway. -small victory
We started from opposite Fullerton Hotel, up Benjamin Shears bridge and all the way to East Coast Park. Once we reached East Coast Park, it was about 6.5KM. My body felt better, accustomed to the run. We stopped for toilet break and continue to hit the pavement. Along the way, we saw Angelyn. She is looking strong so I told her to carry on without us. Finally, we saw the U-Turn which marks the halfway point of the race. I felt stronger, I urged myself to go on.
Fatigue starts to creep in at 11KM. I told myself that 12KM will be a milestone for me as I have never reached that distance before. I continued another KM. - small victory
I continued for another 2 KM before I slow down to a walk. I looked up at saw that we were approaching 15KM. 15KM! One of my 2009 new year resolution is to hit 15KM. I did what I set out to do! On the other hand, my mind starts to do a mental calculation. "How am I going to complete another 6KM? My knees felt sore and the muscles are cramped. But I have come too far to give up now." -small victory
It was really challenging from 16KM to 19KM. My stamina is still on operative mode but my legs really give way. Every step was accompanied by pain and I have to stop every now and then. The point is I continue. - small victory
Upon seeing the 19KM sign, I somehow find the strength to pick up my speed. I told MArk that I want to run to the finishing line instead of walking there. My legs seem to grow a live of its own and I rely on pure adrenaline to carry me through. The last KM was the longest KM ever. Finally I heard someone shouted "350M to the finishing line". small victory
I am almost there.
I looked at my running pacer, gave him a small victory smile. Both of us know relish that special moment. We are there. I am there. My first 21KM.
I clocked 3Hr and 09min.
MArk told me that the distance (21KM) will never get further but I can.
Yes I can. :)
That is MY VICTORY. - The summation of all the small victories.
Don't give up. Count your small victories and eventually, you will see the FINISHING in the horizon.
P.S: Thank you MArk for your encouragement. Without you, there will not be any VICTORY. This post is dedicated to you.
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