VICTORY is a process. It doesn't happen only at the finishing line. It is actually the sum of many small victories. And if in the process of obtaining that VICTORY, you give up, all the small victories actually counts for nothing.
The small victories come first when you decided to set your mind in obtaining that VICTORY, it is the small little steps along the way where you tell yourselves to take yet another step even when you feel that you cannot, it is banishing all the negative thoughts and fears that tell you that you are never able to make it. It is going beyond your limits one small step at a time.
I had that revelation when I was running for my virgin 21KM.
Negative thoughts hit me just at the 2KM mark. "Christine, you are not going to make it. You still have 19KM to go. Your body won't be able to take it as you have yet to recover from your flu". The mind get bombared by all sort of negative thoughts telling me to give up. I looked at MArk running beside me and decide to just go on another KM. - small victory
At 4KM, I told MArk I need to consume the power gel as I needed more energy. Never have I expected the sheer disgusting taste within that small silver pack. My stomach rejected that immeditately but I force it down with water anyway. -small victory
We started from opposite Fullerton Hotel, up Benjamin Shears bridge and all the way to East Coast Park. Once we reached East Coast Park, it was about 6.5KM. My body felt better, accustomed to the run. We stopped for toilet break and continue to hit the pavement. Along the way, we saw Angelyn. She is looking strong so I told her to carry on without us. Finally, we saw the U-Turn which marks the halfway point of the race. I felt stronger, I urged myself to go on.
Fatigue starts to creep in at 11KM. I told myself that 12KM will be a milestone for me as I have never reached that distance before. I continued another KM. - small victory
I continued for another 2 KM before I slow down to a walk. I looked up at saw that we were approaching 15KM. 15KM! One of my 2009 new year resolution is to hit 15KM. I did what I set out to do! On the other hand, my mind starts to do a mental calculation. "How am I going to complete another 6KM? My knees felt sore and the muscles are cramped. But I have come too far to give up now." -small victory
It was really challenging from 16KM to 19KM. My stamina is still on operative mode but my legs really give way. Every step was accompanied by pain and I have to stop every now and then. The point is I continue. - small victory
Upon seeing the 19KM sign, I somehow find the strength to pick up my speed. I told MArk that I want to run to the finishing line instead of walking there. My legs seem to grow a live of its own and I rely on pure adrenaline to carry me through. The last KM was the longest KM ever. Finally I heard someone shouted "350M to the finishing line". small victory
I am almost there.
I looked at my running pacer, gave him a small victory smile. Both of us know relish that special moment. We are there. I am there. My first 21KM.
I clocked 3Hr and 09min.
MArk told me that the distance (21KM) will never get further but I can.
Yes I can. :)
That is MY VICTORY. - The summation of all the small victories.
Don't give up. Count your small victories and eventually, you will see the FINISHING in the horizon.
P.S: Thank you MArk for your encouragement. Without you, there will not be any VICTORY. This post is dedicated to you.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
of unCOMFORT cab
I had a very bad encounter with a comfort cab driver this week. I was waiting for a cab for a good twenty minutes before I called the booking hotline. Like always whenever we tried to called a cab, another cab with the green-lit top hover over the horizon. I cancelled the booking even before the cab number was called and flagged that down.
Just when I reached home, I saw an unknown number calling so I picked it up. It was none other that the 'so-called cancelled' cab driver. I told him I had cancelled the cab but he refused to take my explanation. He gave me a good verbal trashing and stopped only when I asked for his cab number.
I never see myself as an angry person but this time he really hit my treshold. I called up Comfort Cab to make a formal complaint on this cab driver.
I thought to myself that I should not boycott Comfort as this is just one of the many driver. However after calling their customer care hotline, I don't see what they really care about.
First, they did not get back to me promptly. Secondly, only after the second call did they tell me that they are investigating the complaint.
They are investigating i) for technical failure on why is it after I cancelled the call but the cab driver still received the booking. ii) the attitude of the driver. They will need FIVE working days to get back to me.
Their reply really disappoint me. i) whether if it is a technical failure, the cab driver should not call the customer and verbally abuse them. ii) why do they need FIVE working days to investigate such a straight-forward complaint?
You know sometime you get those feeling like the company is backing up their employees no matter what wrong they did. You felt that you have no choice but to bring this to external parties like CASE or even the forum in order to get your case resolved?
I felt like that.
That is just one very bad incident that I recently encountered. Anybody can just be in a custiner service line and there is nothing 'customer service' about their body language. There are no passion, only full of attitude.
I don't think I am the only one finding it. I will make it a point never to return and also employ WOM to make sure my friends and relatives do the same.
However, not all are like that. I do find some very helpful customer service personnel. One particular one is a lady from Robinson Centrepoint ladies department. I can see she really love what she is doing. Kudos to that.
Well... hopefully FIVE working days later I will hear from comfort and see what they have to say.
Just when I reached home, I saw an unknown number calling so I picked it up. It was none other that the 'so-called cancelled' cab driver. I told him I had cancelled the cab but he refused to take my explanation. He gave me a good verbal trashing and stopped only when I asked for his cab number.
I never see myself as an angry person but this time he really hit my treshold. I called up Comfort Cab to make a formal complaint on this cab driver.
I thought to myself that I should not boycott Comfort as this is just one of the many driver. However after calling their customer care hotline, I don't see what they really care about.
First, they did not get back to me promptly. Secondly, only after the second call did they tell me that they are investigating the complaint.
They are investigating i) for technical failure on why is it after I cancelled the call but the cab driver still received the booking. ii) the attitude of the driver. They will need FIVE working days to get back to me.
Their reply really disappoint me. i) whether if it is a technical failure, the cab driver should not call the customer and verbally abuse them. ii) why do they need FIVE working days to investigate such a straight-forward complaint?
You know sometime you get those feeling like the company is backing up their employees no matter what wrong they did. You felt that you have no choice but to bring this to external parties like CASE or even the forum in order to get your case resolved?
I felt like that.
That is just one very bad incident that I recently encountered. Anybody can just be in a custiner service line and there is nothing 'customer service' about their body language. There are no passion, only full of attitude.
I don't think I am the only one finding it. I will make it a point never to return and also employ WOM to make sure my friends and relatives do the same.
However, not all are like that. I do find some very helpful customer service personnel. One particular one is a lady from Robinson Centrepoint ladies department. I can see she really love what she is doing. Kudos to that.
Well... hopefully FIVE working days later I will hear from comfort and see what they have to say.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
child-likeness
I had a quick catch up with the ladies at East Coast Big Splash earlier this afternoon. We really enjoyed ourselves.
Xueli brought her cutie Elly along but I think she is in a bad mood today. Whenever me and MArk tried to get near her, she will pout her lips and look like she is going to cry anytime. Other times, she will laugh. Talk about unpredictable.
The thing about children is they can behave as how they felt and get away with it. If they are happy, they play with you. If they are cranky, they just ignore you. If they are tired, they will just go to sleep.
You know, how I wish I can be like them. To be able to express my emotions plainly without being critised.
Children never take anything personally and never hold grudges. They will not judge or get angry at you for long. They are basically UNOFFENDABLE.
Each day presents a clean slate for them and a new adventure.
We should learn to be more like children so we can enjoy each day as it is.
How I wish I can dance like nobody is watching, live like there is no tomorrow.
Xueli brought her cutie Elly along but I think she is in a bad mood today. Whenever me and MArk tried to get near her, she will pout her lips and look like she is going to cry anytime. Other times, she will laugh. Talk about unpredictable.
The thing about children is they can behave as how they felt and get away with it. If they are happy, they play with you. If they are cranky, they just ignore you. If they are tired, they will just go to sleep.
You know, how I wish I can be like them. To be able to express my emotions plainly without being critised.
Children never take anything personally and never hold grudges. They will not judge or get angry at you for long. They are basically UNOFFENDABLE.
Each day presents a clean slate for them and a new adventure.
We should learn to be more like children so we can enjoy each day as it is.
How I wish I can dance like nobody is watching, live like there is no tomorrow.
Monday, July 20, 2009
I've got you!
I've decided to run the 21Km Half Army Marathon which I have repeatedly told MArk that it is something which I won't do.
I sorta regret the decision, the moment the words slipped off my lips. However, I will still stay true to my words.
I know I'm still going to do it anyway.
Why put myself through those gruesome miles?
Well... I am so sick of telling myself I cannot do something and so tired of getting mediocre results.
If I keep doing things the same way, things are going to stay the same.
So this marathon is not only a physical training but also a mental training to myself. It is a platform for me to psych myself to prepare for the greater things in life. :)
So far, I've only covered 10KM. Another 11Km more to go. I cannot and dare not imagine how I'm going to do it.
I was running in the park this morning and was on my 8Km. I wanted to give up initially but saw something.
I saw a father teaching his son how to ride a 2-wheels bicycle. His eyes never left his son and he is always staying closely at the back never allow his son to fall down. His body language seems to be saying: "Son, I've got you".
The boy didn't give up either..
He ride wobbly for some distance before stopping to recompose himself and continue on. I run by them and encourage the boy and told him not to keep it up!
I told myself the same.
That image spurred me on for the last 2KM. The hardest 2KM.
I was reminded by how God also kept his eyes on me all the time.
"Daughter, don't give up. I've got you" is what he says.
I sorta regret the decision, the moment the words slipped off my lips. However, I will still stay true to my words.
I know I'm still going to do it anyway.
Why put myself through those gruesome miles?
Well... I am so sick of telling myself I cannot do something and so tired of getting mediocre results.
If I keep doing things the same way, things are going to stay the same.
So this marathon is not only a physical training but also a mental training to myself. It is a platform for me to psych myself to prepare for the greater things in life. :)
So far, I've only covered 10KM. Another 11Km more to go. I cannot and dare not imagine how I'm going to do it.
I was running in the park this morning and was on my 8Km. I wanted to give up initially but saw something.
I saw a father teaching his son how to ride a 2-wheels bicycle. His eyes never left his son and he is always staying closely at the back never allow his son to fall down. His body language seems to be saying: "Son, I've got you".
The boy didn't give up either..
He ride wobbly for some distance before stopping to recompose himself and continue on. I run by them and encourage the boy and told him not to keep it up!
I told myself the same.
That image spurred me on for the last 2KM. The hardest 2KM.
I was reminded by how God also kept his eyes on me all the time.
"Daughter, don't give up. I've got you" is what he says.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
of magic wand & genie in the bottle
When I was a little girl of around 4 years of age, I got the taste of my first real disappointment.
I don’t know how I gotten the idea that I could purchase a magic wand and that could grant me any 3 wishes I wanted. It could be from the cartoon network or some fairy tales bedtime story. Nonetheless, the idea of having a magic wand fascinates me beyond my little mind could contain. I thought of it day and night and even dreamt about it.
Somehow, I manage to persuade my mom to give me $50 to buy my wand. $50 is a big thing 20 years ago. It could be a $200 equivalent in today’s context. My mom could have felt that intense earnest in me to agree to this silly request of her 4 years old daughter.
In my mum’s mind, it just another ‘toy’ which her daughter wanted and soon she will grow out of that airy fairy phase. It wasn’t like that for me. I sincerely believed that such magic exist and is determined in hunting it down.
On that fateful day, my sister, our nanny and I set off for my ‘wand’ hunting at Toys’ R Us across the island. I don’t know if my nanny is just patronizing me or if she really doesn’t have a clue of what I was looking for. We wandered from stores to stores, with me trying my best to describe the magic wand to the sales person. We were rejected at each stores and the disappointment sets in deeper and deeper.
At the end of that day, I was somehow convinced that what I was looking for doesn’t exist.
What saddened me most is not about the magic wand. It wasn’t even about the 3 wishes that I could have. I didn’t even think about what are they wishes that I wanted.
It is about idea of having a magical wand, a mystical “genie in the bottle” who will grant me just about anything I wanted.
I felt disappointment for the first time in my life (at age 4).
I told this story to MArk last night. We were at Wendy’s birthday celebration and somehow I brought up this topic. MArk wasn’t surprise. He is rather accustomed to my ‘Alice in Wonderland’ mode but he had another name for that. He called them ‘you and your nonsense’ instead.
I told me that it was at age 4 that I realized I couldn’t have what I want all the time. I understood disappointment. I realize that my life is not as easy as to waving a magic wand and getting just what I wanted.
On our way home, we stopped by the petrol kiosk and I have gotten a surprise.
Before MArk stepped off the car, being the gentleman that he is, he will always ask if he can get me anything from the store. I just causally told him that I wanted the Tigger plush toy which was on display at the store. Both of us know that I am not a fan of plush toy and he knew that I’m being nonsense again. So he left the car without a word to make payment.
5 minutes later, he came back with the Tigger in his arm.
He told me that he fought all the urges to come back and asked if I truly wanted the toy. He goes against his logic and gotten me something which I just said I wanted.
I knew he remembered my story.
I still didn’t have the magic wand. But I have him. I have family and friends who loved me and who are willing to go all out and care for me and protect me.
I won’t forget the look on his face when he came back to the car that day.
I was looking at my magic wand.
Even better, I am looking at a magic wand who not only give me what I want. He gives me what is best for me.
If given a choice to get what you want and what is good for you, what would you choose?
Me too. :)
I thought of our heavenly father and I thought I saw Jesus in him that day.
I don’t know how I gotten the idea that I could purchase a magic wand and that could grant me any 3 wishes I wanted. It could be from the cartoon network or some fairy tales bedtime story. Nonetheless, the idea of having a magic wand fascinates me beyond my little mind could contain. I thought of it day and night and even dreamt about it.
Somehow, I manage to persuade my mom to give me $50 to buy my wand. $50 is a big thing 20 years ago. It could be a $200 equivalent in today’s context. My mom could have felt that intense earnest in me to agree to this silly request of her 4 years old daughter.
In my mum’s mind, it just another ‘toy’ which her daughter wanted and soon she will grow out of that airy fairy phase. It wasn’t like that for me. I sincerely believed that such magic exist and is determined in hunting it down.
On that fateful day, my sister, our nanny and I set off for my ‘wand’ hunting at Toys’ R Us across the island. I don’t know if my nanny is just patronizing me or if she really doesn’t have a clue of what I was looking for. We wandered from stores to stores, with me trying my best to describe the magic wand to the sales person. We were rejected at each stores and the disappointment sets in deeper and deeper.
At the end of that day, I was somehow convinced that what I was looking for doesn’t exist.
What saddened me most is not about the magic wand. It wasn’t even about the 3 wishes that I could have. I didn’t even think about what are they wishes that I wanted.
It is about idea of having a magical wand, a mystical “genie in the bottle” who will grant me just about anything I wanted.
I felt disappointment for the first time in my life (at age 4).
I told this story to MArk last night. We were at Wendy’s birthday celebration and somehow I brought up this topic. MArk wasn’t surprise. He is rather accustomed to my ‘Alice in Wonderland’ mode but he had another name for that. He called them ‘you and your nonsense’ instead.
I told me that it was at age 4 that I realized I couldn’t have what I want all the time. I understood disappointment. I realize that my life is not as easy as to waving a magic wand and getting just what I wanted.
On our way home, we stopped by the petrol kiosk and I have gotten a surprise.
Before MArk stepped off the car, being the gentleman that he is, he will always ask if he can get me anything from the store. I just causally told him that I wanted the Tigger plush toy which was on display at the store. Both of us know that I am not a fan of plush toy and he knew that I’m being nonsense again. So he left the car without a word to make payment.
5 minutes later, he came back with the Tigger in his arm.
He told me that he fought all the urges to come back and asked if I truly wanted the toy. He goes against his logic and gotten me something which I just said I wanted.
I knew he remembered my story.
I still didn’t have the magic wand. But I have him. I have family and friends who loved me and who are willing to go all out and care for me and protect me.
I won’t forget the look on his face when he came back to the car that day.
I was looking at my magic wand.
Even better, I am looking at a magic wand who not only give me what I want. He gives me what is best for me.
If given a choice to get what you want and what is good for you, what would you choose?
Me too. :)
I thought of our heavenly father and I thought I saw Jesus in him that day.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
of new inspiration and dreams
Its a funny feeling.
Everytime I wanted to start anew, I have this urge to change my blogskin. It is as if there is some sort of intertwined connection between them. I'll have this urge to blog. Like changing a new outlook will have a change of heart.
My heart.
This is a new beginning for me.
Bit by bit, there will be new changes. Good changes.
Look out for it!
Everytime I wanted to start anew, I have this urge to change my blogskin. It is as if there is some sort of intertwined connection between them. I'll have this urge to blog. Like changing a new outlook will have a change of heart.
My heart.
This is a new beginning for me.
Bit by bit, there will be new changes. Good changes.
Look out for it!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
2nd Driving attempt
Work started in full swing and time passes so quickly. It is one of the rare luxuries that I never get to enjoy back at the ex-company. Back then, minutes passed like hours and hours like days.
This was my worst attempt yet. I wondered why I suck at driving and concluded that my mind cannot be doing only one thing at a time. In another words, I am a serial multi-tasker. To do one thing at a time bored me to death. So while driving, my mind auto-pilot itself to do more than a thing at a time. And most of the time, while driving, my mind auto-pilot itself to day-dream. Its really scary when suddenly, I was jotted out of daydream to force myself to concentrate on the road and one minute later drifting into wonderland like our dear Alice…
My 3rd final attempt.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Love is a walk in the park
To say that Love is a walk in the park.. Well... that's definitely an understatement. It is hard work.
But that's what we did on St. Valentines' Day.
A walk in the park...
Love is....
A journey 
made by 2 like-minded people
to weather the mountain-high and valley-low experience of life together
to look at the big picture, without sweating the small stuff
to watch the sunset together and thank God for the day...
Love is this...Monday, February 09, 2009
Tickets book for Guangzhou
I'm finally able to satisfy some insatiable part of my wanderlust bug this year! My air ticket for Guangzhou is booked on the 22nd Feb to 27th Feb. My mom and god-ma will be joining me. I'm finally able to visit my dad after his 3 years stint there. Looking forward to the trip, alas, MArk won't be joining.
I'm nursing a flu and gastric at home as of this moment. Still, it didn't dampened my holiday mood!
Living my best life now!!
I'm nursing a flu and gastric at home as of this moment. Still, it didn't dampened my holiday mood!
Living my best life now!!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Job search testimony
Dear all,
As some of you have known, I have been desperately searching for a job for the past 5 months. I was really at my breaking point in my current company and was literally dragging my feet to work daily. But I want to share the good news with you that God has opened a door for me and I just signed the appointment letter with the new company on Tuesday (20.01.09)
Jer29:11 is the key verse that held me on during those bleakest days.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prospers you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”.
I know that God has a marvelous plan for me. I just have not seen it coming to pass. I told God that I’ll be waiting. The wait hasn’t been easy for me.
As you know, God place us in His waiting room where valuable lessons couldn’t be learnt anywhere else. God is teaching me a lesson of endurance, dying to my desire, dealing with disappointment and His favor.
As I continue reading Jer29:12-14(a), “Then you will call upon me, and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me with all your hearts, I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity…
Only on hindsight, I realized that God has led me on a journey to seek Him, not the job.
God has His way of teaching me how to die to my desire. In all the resumes which I have sent out, there are those (3-4 of them) that I have classified as “dream job”. Interestingly enough, I will always be called up for interview, each one keeps getting better that the previous one.
Each of the rejection was always at the final stages of interviews stating hiring freeze or they decided to choose another candidates (its either me or the other person) or other reasons.
The final call came when I was rejected yet again but this time it was for the job which I have been eyeing for since my school days.
I was devastated, disappointed and hopeless. Angry at why God didn’t bless with me that job. I could still feel the raw emotions at this point of time. However it was through that that God lead me on a process of dying to my desire.
I was literally like “since the worst is over, I didn’t get that dream job, what can be worst than that?”
A dead man doesn’t struggle. Through these, I have stopped struggling with God on searching for the job. Of course I prayed that His salvation will come as it was really unbearable for me in my current company but I let Him take full control.
Still after one month, nothing happens. I wondered why God is silent. Then God led me to read a passage from a book “Experiencing God”.
When Lazarus was dying, Mary and Martha sent a message to Jesus to come to them. But Jesus waited for 2 days before going and Lazarus was already lying cold in the tomb for 4 days. Why Jesus did not act immediately. Why the silent treatment from Jesus?? The passage then continue to say that (in my own words) :“you already know that I can heal the sick and know that I will heal Lazarus. But now, I’m bringing you to another level and let you see my Glory like you have not seen before by raising a dead man”.
God truly show himself to me after couple of days.
My aunt sent me a good article by Joel Osten on God’s favor. She told me I have to read it before going for my 2nd interview (Yes another mental torture!). She told me God told her that His favor will be upon me. I have attached it so you can read it and apply as well.
Indeed, His favour is upon me when the HR manager called me to tell me that I was selected for the job! WooHoo!
Well.. Just when I thought it was finally over, God still didn’t think it is!
God knows how unbearable I was in my current company and decided to give me a break!
My boss told me that she does not need to me serve the one month notice as I held some confidential information on the company. She asked me to do my handover and she’ll release me on the same day!!!
Through and through, I was overwhelmed by God’s grace and favor. I cannot sit and do nothing after what He had done for me. I really give all thanks to Him for what He had done and for all the people He had sent to encourage me.
Through this, I saw the love of my family and friends. Helping me through this has become a community affair.
People to thank:
Me and MArk’s family are constantly encouraging me. Yee Kwee, Flora and Elaine were always praying for me, my friends (Xueli, Jorine, Carlene-sister) were always sending me sms to update me with job ‘lobangs’, Tina and Shelley did all that they can to pray for me, hold me tight from spiraling downwards, Vincent for his impactful resume writing, Minvey, Chris Tan, Diana for sharing with me their testimony to give me surge of hope when I really need. I also want to thank MArk for he not only saw all the tears, disappointment, hopelessness and fear in me, he also walk the path with me, feeling my pain as though it was his.
Above all else, I thank God for what He has done, the doors which He had close, those that He open and for all the people He had sent to encourage me, to give me hope for another day.
As some of you have known, I have been desperately searching for a job for the past 5 months. I was really at my breaking point in my current company and was literally dragging my feet to work daily. But I want to share the good news with you that God has opened a door for me and I just signed the appointment letter with the new company on Tuesday (20.01.09)
Jer29:11 is the key verse that held me on during those bleakest days.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prospers you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”.
I know that God has a marvelous plan for me. I just have not seen it coming to pass. I told God that I’ll be waiting. The wait hasn’t been easy for me.
As you know, God place us in His waiting room where valuable lessons couldn’t be learnt anywhere else. God is teaching me a lesson of endurance, dying to my desire, dealing with disappointment and His favor.
As I continue reading Jer29:12-14(a), “Then you will call upon me, and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me with all your hearts, I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity…
Only on hindsight, I realized that God has led me on a journey to seek Him, not the job.
God has His way of teaching me how to die to my desire. In all the resumes which I have sent out, there are those (3-4 of them) that I have classified as “dream job”. Interestingly enough, I will always be called up for interview, each one keeps getting better that the previous one.
Each of the rejection was always at the final stages of interviews stating hiring freeze or they decided to choose another candidates (its either me or the other person) or other reasons.
The final call came when I was rejected yet again but this time it was for the job which I have been eyeing for since my school days.
I was devastated, disappointed and hopeless. Angry at why God didn’t bless with me that job. I could still feel the raw emotions at this point of time. However it was through that that God lead me on a process of dying to my desire.
I was literally like “since the worst is over, I didn’t get that dream job, what can be worst than that?”
A dead man doesn’t struggle. Through these, I have stopped struggling with God on searching for the job. Of course I prayed that His salvation will come as it was really unbearable for me in my current company but I let Him take full control.
Still after one month, nothing happens. I wondered why God is silent. Then God led me to read a passage from a book “Experiencing God”.
When Lazarus was dying, Mary and Martha sent a message to Jesus to come to them. But Jesus waited for 2 days before going and Lazarus was already lying cold in the tomb for 4 days. Why Jesus did not act immediately. Why the silent treatment from Jesus?? The passage then continue to say that (in my own words) :“you already know that I can heal the sick and know that I will heal Lazarus. But now, I’m bringing you to another level and let you see my Glory like you have not seen before by raising a dead man”.
God truly show himself to me after couple of days.
My aunt sent me a good article by Joel Osten on God’s favor. She told me I have to read it before going for my 2nd interview (Yes another mental torture!). She told me God told her that His favor will be upon me. I have attached it so you can read it and apply as well.
Indeed, His favour is upon me when the HR manager called me to tell me that I was selected for the job! WooHoo!
Well.. Just when I thought it was finally over, God still didn’t think it is!
God knows how unbearable I was in my current company and decided to give me a break!
My boss told me that she does not need to me serve the one month notice as I held some confidential information on the company. She asked me to do my handover and she’ll release me on the same day!!!
Through and through, I was overwhelmed by God’s grace and favor. I cannot sit and do nothing after what He had done for me. I really give all thanks to Him for what He had done and for all the people He had sent to encourage me.
Through this, I saw the love of my family and friends. Helping me through this has become a community affair.
People to thank:
Me and MArk’s family are constantly encouraging me. Yee Kwee, Flora and Elaine were always praying for me, my friends (Xueli, Jorine, Carlene-sister) were always sending me sms to update me with job ‘lobangs’, Tina and Shelley did all that they can to pray for me, hold me tight from spiraling downwards, Vincent for his impactful resume writing, Minvey, Chris Tan, Diana for sharing with me their testimony to give me surge of hope when I really need. I also want to thank MArk for he not only saw all the tears, disappointment, hopelessness and fear in me, he also walk the path with me, feeling my pain as though it was his.
Above all else, I thank God for what He has done, the doors which He had close, those that He open and for all the people He had sent to encourage me, to give me hope for another day.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Love Life
Aurora Greenway: "Work like you don't need the money, love like your heart has never been broken, and dance like no one is watching".
Monday, June 16, 2008
darkness in the dark
overwhelmed by words cramming up my heads. they could form sentences to create a novel but they chose to do otherwise. random thoughts became irrational fears. sometimes i just want to get away from myself. go to some place where i'm separated by my thoughts. they ought to be one entity but somehow the lines are crossed. those times, those moments, those early hours before anyone start the day, they have already started theirs. they choose to haunt the weak, make them strengthless, crippled them.
all i ask is a quiet night all by my own.
until silent is all i hear.
until peace is all i felt.
until then...
all i ask is a quiet night all by my own.
until silent is all i hear.
until peace is all i felt.
until then...
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Serenity Prayer
During our teenage years, we were frantically losing ourselves in the whirlpool of peer pressure, deceived by what love truly means and ignorant of what freedom really stands for. As a result, we become someone who are defined by the wrong yardstick, a measurement given by society, a collective “they” whom we don’t even know their name.
To say that we cease to become who we are is unwarranted because we didn’t know who define what we are.
- Are we who we are because of an inborn characteristic?
- Or because of what we create ourselves to be?
- Or because of who we want to become?
If the second is true, is it sufficed to say that we become who we are by experience?
If the third is true, is it sufficed to say that becoming who we are is a process…
No doubt, I’m sure there are elements of truth in the 3 points.
Why are the differences between growing up and growing old?
Probably growing up is a process where we lose ourselves completely to find ourselves again while growing old is a process by which we learn to come to term with the person we have become.
Learning to accept ourselves may be the hardest thing we all need to learn.
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
(The Serenity Prayer is generally thought to have been written by Reinhold Niebuhr)
Friday, May 23, 2008
Bangkok & Hua Hin
Destination: Bangkok & HuaHin
Date: October 2007
Travelers: Christine & MArk
This was the first trip we took together and the memories are etched deep into my mind. I was browsing through all the photographs and they inevitably brings me down memory lane. I'm grateful for these 'captured moments' for me. I decided to post them here to further remind myself that life is about moments and I did not want to forget these "Beautiful Moments" that was created. Enjoy my moments.
This was the first day at Bangkok. Having lunch at Platinium Mall. We took the opportunity to take this picture with the colorful building as the background. The picture turn out nice with the stark contrast between the interior and the bright sky!
Having coffee and pretzels. Goofing around with the camera. I like this picture because it reminds me that I can be silly around him and I'm not afraid that he sees me differently.
Day 2: Lunch at MBK foodcourt. Apparently, they have upgraded their food area and is like 'marche-style'. The food are surprisingly yummy!
We tried taking this picture many times in order to align the smiley face with our smiley faces. No luck. Haha.. Anyway, this was when we attempted to be adventurous and asked the cabby to drop us in an unfamiliar territory. We saw this cute building and start taking pictures.
Tucked in a corner was this cozy cafe. I was actually looking for this cafe chain online but could not find the location. Thank God for the spontaneous pit stop if not we will never be able to 'chance upon' this place. Cafe Greyhound.
A rare moment. MArk reading a book!
At the train station on our way to Hua Hin. Hua Hin is a small town in Bangkok and the train journey took about 4 hours. (i think) This trip to Hua Hin was totally unplanned but I had the best time there!!!
At Hua Hin Train Station. Finally (phew!)
We rented a bike and cruise round the city with it. Funny thing happen because little did we know that the bike does not supply us with petrol. We were riding around the main street and suddenly the bike just refuse to budge. Haha.. it was really a classic sight! We were in the main road of the city in front of the traffic light then. The thais are really very good-natured people. NO ONE sounded a horn at us! In the end, we had to push our bike to the nearest petrol kiosk which is aound 500m away. We were told it was the one and only petrol station in Hua Hin! Haha.. I'll never forget that incident.
Feasting like royalties at night at their seafood restaurant.
Next day at Hua Hin's beach.
Carefree. A precious moment.
U.G.L.Y but adorable moment!
If I have to choose a picture to represent the entire Bangkok trip, this would be it! This is my favourite picture. I look like I'm feeling contented. Indeed, I am.. Blessed. Need I say more?
A pseudo 'beach couple'. Haha.. I'm really exhausted on the way back. Was suppose to meet up with a friend (Yui) for dinner but the train broke down half way. Originally it will take about 4 hours but the journey back was about 8 hours. It was quite a scary experience because we seems to be the only foreigner on board and the train just stopped in the middle of nowhere! However, something miraculous happened to MArk. Its his story to tell. Not mine. ;)
Nominees of the Bao' face.
MArk a.k.a Bruce Lee
Parting shot at the airport.
Date: October 2007
Travelers: Christine & MArk
This was the first trip we took together and the memories are etched deep into my mind. I was browsing through all the photographs and they inevitably brings me down memory lane. I'm grateful for these 'captured moments' for me. I decided to post them here to further remind myself that life is about moments and I did not want to forget these "Beautiful Moments" that was created. Enjoy my moments.
This was the first day at Bangkok. Having lunch at Platinium Mall. We took the opportunity to take this picture with the colorful building as the background. The picture turn out nice with the stark contrast between the interior and the bright sky!
Having coffee and pretzels. Goofing around with the camera. I like this picture because it reminds me that I can be silly around him and I'm not afraid that he sees me differently.
Day 2: Lunch at MBK foodcourt. Apparently, they have upgraded their food area and is like 'marche-style'. The food are surprisingly yummy!
We tried taking this picture many times in order to align the smiley face with our smiley faces. No luck. Haha.. Anyway, this was when we attempted to be adventurous and asked the cabby to drop us in an unfamiliar territory. We saw this cute building and start taking pictures.
Tucked in a corner was this cozy cafe. I was actually looking for this cafe chain online but could not find the location. Thank God for the spontaneous pit stop if not we will never be able to 'chance upon' this place. Cafe Greyhound.
A rare moment. MArk reading a book!
At the train station on our way to Hua Hin. Hua Hin is a small town in Bangkok and the train journey took about 4 hours. (i think) This trip to Hua Hin was totally unplanned but I had the best time there!!!
At Hua Hin Train Station. Finally (phew!)
We rented a bike and cruise round the city with it. Funny thing happen because little did we know that the bike does not supply us with petrol. We were riding around the main street and suddenly the bike just refuse to budge. Haha.. it was really a classic sight! We were in the main road of the city in front of the traffic light then. The thais are really very good-natured people. NO ONE sounded a horn at us! In the end, we had to push our bike to the nearest petrol kiosk which is aound 500m away. We were told it was the one and only petrol station in Hua Hin! Haha.. I'll never forget that incident.
Feasting like royalties at night at their seafood restaurant.
Next day at Hua Hin's beach.
Carefree. A precious moment.
U.G.L.Y but adorable moment!
If I have to choose a picture to represent the entire Bangkok trip, this would be it! This is my favourite picture. I look like I'm feeling contented. Indeed, I am.. Blessed. Need I say more?
A pseudo 'beach couple'. Haha.. I'm really exhausted on the way back. Was suppose to meet up with a friend (Yui) for dinner but the train broke down half way. Originally it will take about 4 hours but the journey back was about 8 hours. It was quite a scary experience because we seems to be the only foreigner on board and the train just stopped in the middle of nowhere! However, something miraculous happened to MArk. Its his story to tell. Not mine. ;)
Nominees of the Bao' face.
MArk a.k.a Bruce Lee
Parting shot at the airport.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
A tribute to Mary
Fragility of Lives
give someone you love a hug. tell them you love them. let them know you appreciate the things they do. do it all the time. do it now.
The closest that I have ever come face to face with Death is seeing my grandfather breathing his last on his deathbed. That happened 2 years ago.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I witnessed the same thing, but this time it was a friend.
As I was waiting at the holding room in the hospital, I can’t help but reflect on the vulnerability and fragility of our lives. How easily we could slip from one end to the other.
On the contrary, I also see the strength of a person when she faces Death. The relentless pursuit to put up a good fight, not letting Death has its way easily.
How often we said goodbye to somebody without stopping to think that maybe it will be the last time we will ever see them again? How often we don’t stop to ask a friend how she is doing because there is “always next time?”
What if there is no next time? Or there is no tomorrow? What if NOW is all you have?
Would you have done differently?
give someone you love a hug. tell them you love them. let them know you appreciate the things they do. do it all the time. do it now.
The closest that I have ever come face to face with Death is seeing my grandfather breathing his last on his deathbed. That happened 2 years ago.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I witnessed the same thing, but this time it was a friend.
As I was waiting at the holding room in the hospital, I can’t help but reflect on the vulnerability and fragility of our lives. How easily we could slip from one end to the other.
On the contrary, I also see the strength of a person when she faces Death. The relentless pursuit to put up a good fight, not letting Death has its way easily.
How often we said goodbye to somebody without stopping to think that maybe it will be the last time we will ever see them again? How often we don’t stop to ask a friend how she is doing because there is “always next time?”
What if there is no next time? Or there is no tomorrow? What if NOW is all you have?
Would you have done differently?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
of a dose of sanity, please
The mind plays trick. It really does.
It deceived you from the truth, blind you from seeing what you actually need to see. It leads you further from reality. So far away.
Sometimes it makes you sad, but tears you cried flow inward. Deep into the cortex of your soul. Nobody can see what's going on your mind. Neither could you. It's funny isn't it?
Sometimes it makes you afraid, but the fear your felt is groundless and you couldn't hold on to anything to support you. It's ridiculous isn't it?
Sometimes it pushes the people you love away, it didn't began like that but it eventually does.
Sometimes it makes laughter goes on strikes, killing the joy within you.
You get angry because this shouldn't be the way. You wanted to scream but only manage a slight whimper. You grew strenghless allowing it to overtake every part of you till you can no longer fight.
The darkness came overshadowing the lights.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Lost but found.
There is often a desire to close down this blog because I felt that I never have the time to blog anymore. Once, it was my passion to write down my thoughts and share them with people but now that passion has dwindled to a barely-there, lukewarm attempt.
Someone once told me not to find a job that coincide with my passion because it will be as good as killing that passion. "Why make your passion a chore?"
In my job as a marcomm, I have to devote at least 75% of my time producing communication materials, press releases, newsletter articles copy writing for ads. After so much writing during work, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to write some more.
But there is also another saying which says: "Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life".
So which is then the true mantra?
Will doing something you love everyday makes that a chore eventually?
I believe that it will.
However, it doesn't mean that it has to be.
I felt that I was a little despondent after working for awhile. Day in and day out the same thing. The initial enthusiasm encounter a life-threatening plunge and I believe that if I don't do something about it, it will lead to a catastrophic ending.
So I pray....
God really did came to intervene and did a heart surgery for me.
He let me see that He has already blessed me abundantly. Not many people can claim to do what they love but He has blessed me with that. My heart of discontentment change to a heart of thanks-giving. I saw my situation through the eyes of His and it makes sense to me that it has indeed been a blessing.
He has also blessed me with people whom always give me timely advises that reveals the very word of God to me.
Yes.... we will all grow tired at one point in time doing what we always do. But God always give a renewal of your heart if you asked Him to.
I was lost but now am found.
Someone once told me not to find a job that coincide with my passion because it will be as good as killing that passion. "Why make your passion a chore?"
In my job as a marcomm, I have to devote at least 75% of my time producing communication materials, press releases, newsletter articles copy writing for ads. After so much writing during work, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to write some more.
But there is also another saying which says: "Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life".
So which is then the true mantra?
Will doing something you love everyday makes that a chore eventually?
I believe that it will.
However, it doesn't mean that it has to be.
I felt that I was a little despondent after working for awhile. Day in and day out the same thing. The initial enthusiasm encounter a life-threatening plunge and I believe that if I don't do something about it, it will lead to a catastrophic ending.
So I pray....
God really did came to intervene and did a heart surgery for me.
He let me see that He has already blessed me abundantly. Not many people can claim to do what they love but He has blessed me with that. My heart of discontentment change to a heart of thanks-giving. I saw my situation through the eyes of His and it makes sense to me that it has indeed been a blessing.
He has also blessed me with people whom always give me timely advises that reveals the very word of God to me.
Yes.... we will all grow tired at one point in time doing what we always do. But God always give a renewal of your heart if you asked Him to.
I was lost but now am found.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
beautiful stranger
Beautiful Stranger - Chrissy
Brushed shoulders, blank expression, not a word exchanged
Standing in the masses, disoriented in thoughts, lost in transition
The mind takes on a life of its own, warring to self destruction
There got to be something for me somewhere
Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught a familiar sight
My eyes sweep across the aisle and fix on you.
A beautiful stranger
An overwhelming sense of deja vu
You stood there staring at me, I wonder why
Time stood still in anticipation when your vision align with mine
What is to come, each step closer send shockwaves through
Electrifying, sometimes painful, other times fearful
Your visage faltering like a mirage, unreal
Escape on my mind, realisation of disillusion plunges deep
The hope of the unknown hanging on...
Should I stay or should I go?
Brushed shoulders, blank expression, not a word exchanged
Standing in the masses, disoriented in thoughts, lost in transition
The mind takes on a life of its own, warring to self destruction
There got to be something for me somewhere
Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught a familiar sight
My eyes sweep across the aisle and fix on you.
A beautiful stranger
An overwhelming sense of deja vu
You stood there staring at me, I wonder why
Time stood still in anticipation when your vision align with mine
What is to come, each step closer send shockwaves through
Electrifying, sometimes painful, other times fearful
Your visage faltering like a mirage, unreal
Escape on my mind, realisation of disillusion plunges deep
The hope of the unknown hanging on...
Should I stay or should I go?
Sunday, August 12, 2007
of discovering Grace
"Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us more and there is nothing we can do to make God love us less."
Grace comes so freely but yet people just can't accept that. Refuse to accept it even though it is staring us squarely in the face.
Coming from the mentality that "there is no free lunch in the world", we tend to question God's Grace the same way. Is it really given freely? No question asked?
In almost everything we do, there is often a hidden agenda, something that is of our vested interest. Grace on the other hand works on the opposite of the pendulum. It requires nothing from us, makes no demands and ask for nothing in return. The only thing I could think of is that it requires us to have the full assurance of the definition of Grace.
However our thick head just refuse to let that truth sink in. Is that so hard to comprehend? It might be incomprehensible at first, but just wait and see...
Eph2:4-5 (NIV) But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Grace comes so freely but yet people just can't accept that. Refuse to accept it even though it is staring us squarely in the face.
Coming from the mentality that "there is no free lunch in the world", we tend to question God's Grace the same way. Is it really given freely? No question asked?
In almost everything we do, there is often a hidden agenda, something that is of our vested interest. Grace on the other hand works on the opposite of the pendulum. It requires nothing from us, makes no demands and ask for nothing in return. The only thing I could think of is that it requires us to have the full assurance of the definition of Grace.
However our thick head just refuse to let that truth sink in. Is that so hard to comprehend? It might be incomprehensible at first, but just wait and see...
Eph2:4-5 (NIV) But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The alchemist
It was yet another sad parting when I bid farewell to the last page of ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho. Reading his book is like talking to an old friend; a friend whom knows every of your deepest and most profound thoughts. Thoughts which nobody has excess to and it was imbedded deep into the recess of your soul. You will feel like you have the best conversation yet none of you spoke a word.
I have heard many positive comments regarding ‘The Alchemist’ but didn’t have the chance to read it. Yiling was the first person to recommend me his book with ‘Veronika decides to die’ as the first entry point. I couldn’t keep my hands off his books ever since.
Based on my own interpretation: (Spoilers)
The story speaks of a boy in search of his calling in life. To put it tangibly, he traveled all the way from Spain to Egypt looking treasures base on his recurring dreams and omens that he has. So off he went, selling all his possessions and embarks on the journey of his lifetime. Throughout his experience, he met many people whom became teachers to him, teaching him of the simple and yet unseen lessons of life and how to attain his personal callings.
Hypotheses of the lessons in life include:
Principle of favorability.
When we play the cards for the first time, we are almost sure to win. (some people call it beginner’s luck) It is because there is a force that wants you to realize your personal calling and will whet your appetite with a taste of success.
The destination of your goal is a mean to an end, not an end itself.
When we are too focused on achieving our goal, we forget the most important things; which is to learn the lessons along the way. To achieve your goal without learning anything is a futile process. You haven’t really attained your goal anyway.
Simplest lesson in life: When you possess great treasures within you and you tell people about it, they will seldom believe you.
I was reminded of Jesus. Jesus has the truth inside him that He knew that He is the Son of God that will redeem the sins of the world. He told his disciples about it but none of them really understood what he is talking about.
These are just some of the hypotheses that he has conjured about life. The book contains cauldron of such philosophies and is really interesting to read.
Anyway, the boy made his way to Egypt at his final destination. Unfortunately, he met a thieve that stole all his possessions and even tries to kill him. Not only has he lost all his belonging to get home, he didn’t find his treasures.
The irony twist came when the thieve told him that 2 years ago, he (the thieve) has a recurring dream to go to Spain to look for treasures under an old church but he wasn’t stupid enough to be like the boy to go just because of some stupid dreams.
The boy finally knew where his treasure was.
It was right where he has started his journey; In spain, besides an old church.
Fate has led him on a merry-go-round in search of the thing he was looking for but little does he knows that it was all along right under his nose.
I believe this is very applicable in real life. See, many times we are searching for happiness, love, money and what have you, but it was under our very eyes. We couldn’t see that we simply need contentment to enjoy those things. Until we went on a journey searching for them, going through difficult times, bruising our head and our heart did we find it where we have left off.
Do you think we could have found it if we weren’t led through the difficult period? Will we appreciate it just as much? What exactly do we find at the end of the journey is not really happiness, love or joy because we have them all along. But it is to be contented to know that they are there and to learn to appreciate them.
If the boy hasn’t gone all the way to Egypt, would he found what he is looking for? Even if he has found it, will he treasure it as much knowing that attaining that doesn’t come easy?
Give some thoughts to that.
I have heard many positive comments regarding ‘The Alchemist’ but didn’t have the chance to read it. Yiling was the first person to recommend me his book with ‘Veronika decides to die’ as the first entry point. I couldn’t keep my hands off his books ever since.
Based on my own interpretation: (Spoilers)
The story speaks of a boy in search of his calling in life. To put it tangibly, he traveled all the way from Spain to Egypt looking treasures base on his recurring dreams and omens that he has. So off he went, selling all his possessions and embarks on the journey of his lifetime. Throughout his experience, he met many people whom became teachers to him, teaching him of the simple and yet unseen lessons of life and how to attain his personal callings.
Hypotheses of the lessons in life include:
Principle of favorability.
When we play the cards for the first time, we are almost sure to win. (some people call it beginner’s luck) It is because there is a force that wants you to realize your personal calling and will whet your appetite with a taste of success.
The destination of your goal is a mean to an end, not an end itself.
When we are too focused on achieving our goal, we forget the most important things; which is to learn the lessons along the way. To achieve your goal without learning anything is a futile process. You haven’t really attained your goal anyway.
Simplest lesson in life: When you possess great treasures within you and you tell people about it, they will seldom believe you.
I was reminded of Jesus. Jesus has the truth inside him that He knew that He is the Son of God that will redeem the sins of the world. He told his disciples about it but none of them really understood what he is talking about.
These are just some of the hypotheses that he has conjured about life. The book contains cauldron of such philosophies and is really interesting to read.
Anyway, the boy made his way to Egypt at his final destination. Unfortunately, he met a thieve that stole all his possessions and even tries to kill him. Not only has he lost all his belonging to get home, he didn’t find his treasures.
The irony twist came when the thieve told him that 2 years ago, he (the thieve) has a recurring dream to go to Spain to look for treasures under an old church but he wasn’t stupid enough to be like the boy to go just because of some stupid dreams.
The boy finally knew where his treasure was.
It was right where he has started his journey; In spain, besides an old church.
Fate has led him on a merry-go-round in search of the thing he was looking for but little does he knows that it was all along right under his nose.
I believe this is very applicable in real life. See, many times we are searching for happiness, love, money and what have you, but it was under our very eyes. We couldn’t see that we simply need contentment to enjoy those things. Until we went on a journey searching for them, going through difficult times, bruising our head and our heart did we find it where we have left off.
Do you think we could have found it if we weren’t led through the difficult period? Will we appreciate it just as much? What exactly do we find at the end of the journey is not really happiness, love or joy because we have them all along. But it is to be contented to know that they are there and to learn to appreciate them.
If the boy hasn’t gone all the way to Egypt, would he found what he is looking for? Even if he has found it, will he treasure it as much knowing that attaining that doesn’t come easy?
Give some thoughts to that.
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