Fighting through all the demands of school work and social life leave me breathless by the time i crawl to my bed. Without a doubt, I make it through the day with God's grace. If not, I don't think i am able to make it thus far. All the blessings of good grades and smooth project members. All the 'on the dot' submission of assignment, the enlightening of tough projects. All came through at the right moment. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank God..

Schedules are packed to the brim, threatening my emotions to be disfunctional. Not that my emotions are keep in checked all the time (base on my history). Tension headaches, not eating again.. What are the tell-tales signs again? But i know i'm going to get through it once again. Like how i have manage the last few times. But why work so hard for? What do i want to get?

Being the leader of the pack ain't easy. Being a follower is even more difficult for me. Contradiction? That's my middle name. What i want?

Its back to the 'wanting and not having it' period again. It gotta strike me once in a while. Making myself feel useless and unfulfilled. Regrets, remorse, etc... What i want? That i do not know. But i know THIS is not what i want. Discontentment is the prison. How to be content when u know u can do so much more? What i want actually?

Just finishing ranting... Thanks for listening. Crawling back to bed now. Maybe the lights can finally be dimmed and a good night rest awaits. Or maybe not...



"How can i be found when i don't even know i am lost?