Presentation flop

KTV Frenzy with the PAW gang.




The New and Improved Ubercool haircut. I wish.







Dumb and Dumber. Of course Jorine looks dumber!

Dinner and Fireworks at Marina Bay with My Ladies. Missings are Yi Ling and Xueli .

Pictures are taken 2 weeks ago on the fireworks night. Finally found my nokia pc suite cable and thus the luxury of posting our pictures on my blog.

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Time: 1am

Got a sudden urge to blog and so I jumped off my bed and switch on the computer. Such incidents are becoming rarer. So I guess my muse gotta work overtime tonight. Time for a change anyway.

We learn new things everyday right? So, I've discovered that I'm afraid of public speaking. I used to think that I do alright doing presentation but standing in front of the lecture group today makes me think again. I mean, what's so hard about standing in front of people, allowing them to put on their scrutinizing glasses and inspect every words you say? Besides, you are very well prepared right?

Wrong. Think again. And again.

Words flee from my mind the moment I stood at the lectern. Few seconds later, I manage to find my tongue but did not deliver the impressive presentation that I hope for. Such a disappointment. What exactly happen?

Then upon further thinking, I think it wasn't just stage fright or bad presentation skill but rather it stem from my other personal issues. I reckoned my high expectation, critical nature and fear of people are the culprit behind all these. High expectation makes me want to overachieve and thus exert heaps of pressue on me. Since someone like me can hardly settle for second best, we make sure that we have to be the best before we can have the best. This mentality drove us to the brim of our capability and very often it backfire. And also since I'm rather critical of people, I'll expect people to be critical of me. By standing in front of everyone, it is as if I am exposing myself for citicism. Yuckz The thought of that already makes me shiver. I should probably go easy on others as well as myself.

As you see, it is really tough being me. Haha. How did I survive 22 years of being with myself? A perfectionista. Its really a tough challenge being me. =)

But then something is changing! I'm undergoing a personality makeover for myself. Realised that in the past, I was very depressed and negative. But I've got a CHOICE to change that. So I made that choice and try to be more positive and joyful. It's painful because I'm still paying for the consequences of my old habits. Changes is always painful right?!

Anyway, last week I mentioned that I wanted to join a kickboxing class right? Decided to really get my ass moving. So tomorrow meeting Jorine to sign up for the class and it commence this saturday. Have to start moving those squeaky joints and kick some ass. =) Feel so proud of myself. Because I'm not someone whom will take up something easily. Friends around me are always telling me the stuff that they are learning and I always don't have guts to join in. That has to do with my perfectionist and procrastinating streak. Perfectionist so have to make sure that whatever I join, I have to perform my best and thus not daring to commit. (Don't get me started on this again!) Procrastinating because of perfectionism. (Doesn't make sense?)

So come this saturday, I'll don on my sporty attire and start my exercise regime. That reminds me that I need to go get some sport apparels at the sport shops. $ spent again. *shake head*

Wow, its fast approaching 2am now and I'm still so awake. Before this, I had some bailey (the new bailey caramel, yummy!) to help me get into sleep mode but it seems I'm more awake than a vampire. But I guess I better go do some eyes shut.

Night world.