I'm now in a state of great disillusion.

When the hard cold reality finally slap me in my face and I feel the sting that linger longer than i wish it to be. I couldn't stand the disappointment of knowing that what was promised (by myself) was repay with nothing worth mentioning. I was exploited! My dreams were broken by the practicality of reality.

And i have myself to blame. I was the one that told myself to climb that ladder. To think big and dream big. But what was offer to me was dirt. The tears could be the only evidence of the remains of broken dreams. I should not have any hint of expectation in the first place.