What if we all have been misled throughout our life? The moment when we begin to make sense of the things around us till the point we are now. What if the movies and books are all telling us the wrong thing? About love, about life, about dreams or even about our bodies?
What if we thought that love is all about falling head over heels with each others? Whispering honey-coated words to each others. Getting funny feelings in the guts. Indulging in his/her presence? Maybe it is about following our emotions and letting our heart ruling over our head. And we can't really stop who our heart choose to love right? Or can we? It seems that our heart and our mind has a different criteria when it comes to loving someone. The mind chooses rationally, examining all the characteristics that you hope your other-half should possess. However the heart chooses without following any rules or regulations. And no one can explain why they love someone.
When someone says they love someone but doesn't know why, they are actually loving with their heart. And many of us are guilty of that. To put it in a nicer term, it is saying that "I don't even know why i like you, but i do. To say it bluntly, it is saying that "I don't know what's so good about you but I am attracted to you, probably in a physical way.
When we were younger, we love with all our hearts. We love like there is no tomorrow. We love fiercely and strongly as if we cannot do without it everyday. Its almost like we get our energy from it. People tend to think that teenagers do not know what love is all about. Those people couldn't be more wrong about it.
But when we grow older, we love with our mind. Because we could not afford to love with our heart anymore. Its like playing with fire. Its dangerous and burn our finger too easily. Maybe we could not handle such risk anymore. Or the pain that love can leave us scarred and wounded. Or rather we have finally realise that true love is not what is deplicted by Hollywood. It may not be a dramatic affairs that we can put on our resume of life. To show off that once in our lifetime, we have love strongly and fiercely.
Maybe when we first love with our mind. We take careful consideration into the person's character and personality. And we decide if we want to carry on seeing that person. We may want to access his credibilty and all.. And after all the initial stage, and making sure that the person is what we are looking for. And knowing that it is the one God wants you to be with. After knowing all that, we can start loving with our heart. We can fall in love and head over heel in love with that person. Because we know that that person will most probably be Mr Right. And not just Mr Right-Now.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Best is yet to come
In a fine dining restaurant, they usually serve a five course meal which consist of a starter (usually soup), appetizer, entree, desert and coffee/tea. If having a five course meal is an epitome of life, which course do you wish to be having now?
For me, I wish to be having the appetizer salad course. To me, it symbolises that my life is just about to kick off into full gear. And yet at the same time, knowing that I have gone beyond the starter stage. Already not as hungry for life as when it all first start to make sense to me. But most importantly, knowing that the best is yet to come. Full of expectancy and anticipation for what is to come.
In my point of view, I felt that the most trying dish to a chef's skill is the appetizer. It sets the tone of what the guest should expect yet trying its best not to outdo what is yet to come but at the same time not downplaying it. Just the right taste to tease our palate yet not quite getting there.
Then after that, it will be the real thing. The Entree, the main course of the evening. What everyone is waiting for. But for me, I guess i am not ready for that just yet. Maybe a few more years more.
So in the meantime, I'll just have a salad. Thank you.
For me, I wish to be having the appetizer salad course. To me, it symbolises that my life is just about to kick off into full gear. And yet at the same time, knowing that I have gone beyond the starter stage. Already not as hungry for life as when it all first start to make sense to me. But most importantly, knowing that the best is yet to come. Full of expectancy and anticipation for what is to come.
In my point of view, I felt that the most trying dish to a chef's skill is the appetizer. It sets the tone of what the guest should expect yet trying its best not to outdo what is yet to come but at the same time not downplaying it. Just the right taste to tease our palate yet not quite getting there.
Then after that, it will be the real thing. The Entree, the main course of the evening. What everyone is waiting for. But for me, I guess i am not ready for that just yet. Maybe a few more years more.
So in the meantime, I'll just have a salad. Thank you.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I'm now in a state of great disillusion.
When the hard cold reality finally slap me in my face and I feel the sting that linger longer than i wish it to be. I couldn't stand the disappointment of knowing that what was promised (by myself) was repay with nothing worth mentioning. I was exploited! My dreams were broken by the practicality of reality.
And i have myself to blame. I was the one that told myself to climb that ladder. To think big and dream big. But what was offer to me was dirt. The tears could be the only evidence of the remains of broken dreams. I should not have any hint of expectation in the first place.
When the hard cold reality finally slap me in my face and I feel the sting that linger longer than i wish it to be. I couldn't stand the disappointment of knowing that what was promised (by myself) was repay with nothing worth mentioning. I was exploited! My dreams were broken by the practicality of reality.
And i have myself to blame. I was the one that told myself to climb that ladder. To think big and dream big. But what was offer to me was dirt. The tears could be the only evidence of the remains of broken dreams. I should not have any hint of expectation in the first place.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Take the lead
Been a really long time since I have caught a movie that have me clapping and cheering in the cinema. Yea, i know its kinda dumb to do that. But i just can't help it. And the funny thing is, I'm not the only one. Well, the movie is none other than "Take the Lead", starring Antonio Banderas. You know that guy from Zoro with the hot and sexy Catherine Zeta Zones. Yup, that's him. And he is Hot, Hot and Hot with the capital H. Sizzling... I thought that he is the sexiest man alive. To me anyway.
I like man with those really intense eyes that speak volumes. Like Antonio's and maybe Pierre Bosnan. They are so painful to look at. Like a work of art. Ok, maybe i'm getting too far. But i believe you get my point. ha ha
Going back to the movies. I realised that i am particularly fond of movies that are associate with dancing. Billy Elliotte, Honey, Shall we dance, Save the last dance, Dirty Dancing 2, Grease, just to name a few. I really digs them!! I simply feel the energy and vibes within those movies and wish that i can move like they do. I'll kill to be in their shoe (no pun intended). But it seems like i have two left foot. *sobz*
Please, go catch that movie. Worth every penny.
Anyway, enough about that. In my last entry, i was just talking about having dreams and fulfilling it. Today, my best friend called me with a really great news. She was selected in the interview for SIA. Man, she was overjoyed. I mean, it was really her dream to be a Singapore Girl. And she gotten it! Talking about having dreams coming true huh. Really happy for her. Ha ha.. good job Wendy!
Today is Good friday. For people that are clueless as of why today is a public holiday, well this is it. About 2000 years ago, this man by the name of Jesus was crucified on the cross on calvery to die for our sin so that we can have life. On that fateful day, records were written on our history book and our names are written on the book of life. He died so that we may live. The greatest sacrifice.
I like man with those really intense eyes that speak volumes. Like Antonio's and maybe Pierre Bosnan. They are so painful to look at. Like a work of art. Ok, maybe i'm getting too far. But i believe you get my point. ha ha
Going back to the movies. I realised that i am particularly fond of movies that are associate with dancing. Billy Elliotte, Honey, Shall we dance, Save the last dance, Dirty Dancing 2, Grease, just to name a few. I really digs them!! I simply feel the energy and vibes within those movies and wish that i can move like they do. I'll kill to be in their shoe (no pun intended). But it seems like i have two left foot. *sobz*
Please, go catch that movie. Worth every penny.
Anyway, enough about that. In my last entry, i was just talking about having dreams and fulfilling it. Today, my best friend called me with a really great news. She was selected in the interview for SIA. Man, she was overjoyed. I mean, it was really her dream to be a Singapore Girl. And she gotten it! Talking about having dreams coming true huh. Really happy for her. Ha ha.. good job Wendy!
Today is Good friday. For people that are clueless as of why today is a public holiday, well this is it. About 2000 years ago, this man by the name of Jesus was crucified on the cross on calvery to die for our sin so that we can have life. On that fateful day, records were written on our history book and our names are written on the book of life. He died so that we may live. The greatest sacrifice.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Dare to Dream
I realise that i have lost the ability to dream. I have forgotten how it is like to dream big. My eyes of logic and self doubts have dimmed and restricted myself from daring to dream the impossible. I have forgotten that inside me, there is someone that is capable of doing the impossible, someone that have great strength and power. I have forgotten to look inside me.
Dreams are such wonderful things. They are like the direction that guides us into achieving greater works. The initator for much bigger goals. Without dreams, life will be nothing more than the mundanes. Yikes.
It was said that when Pandora open the box, plagues, sufferings, pains and sorrow escape from it and infiltrate the world. But it was said that 'hope' escape as well. Because if not for that, we won't be where we are now. No hopes and dreams to cushion the rough edges of reality. Its the unthinkable.
But i realise that there is a fatal killer for dreams. No, its not the lack of courage to believe, or maybe the rationalisation of it. To me, it is the inability of conceptualising our dreams it into reality. I believe that there is a space between our dreams and reality. People get stumbled in that space. I fear that for myself too. To cross that bridge, its not easy. But no one says that its gonna be easy anyway. If we don't close that gap, even the biggest dreams, will not come to pass if we do nothing to it. It'll always remains in our dreams; intangible.
"All of our dreams can come true- if we have the courage to pursue them" - Walt Disney
Dreams are such wonderful things. They are like the direction that guides us into achieving greater works. The initator for much bigger goals. Without dreams, life will be nothing more than the mundanes. Yikes.
It was said that when Pandora open the box, plagues, sufferings, pains and sorrow escape from it and infiltrate the world. But it was said that 'hope' escape as well. Because if not for that, we won't be where we are now. No hopes and dreams to cushion the rough edges of reality. Its the unthinkable.
But i realise that there is a fatal killer for dreams. No, its not the lack of courage to believe, or maybe the rationalisation of it. To me, it is the inability of conceptualising our dreams it into reality. I believe that there is a space between our dreams and reality. People get stumbled in that space. I fear that for myself too. To cross that bridge, its not easy. But no one says that its gonna be easy anyway. If we don't close that gap, even the biggest dreams, will not come to pass if we do nothing to it. It'll always remains in our dreams; intangible.
"All of our dreams can come true- if we have the courage to pursue them" - Walt Disney
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Loola paradise
Updates on my Bintan Trip.
The Loola Travelogue
Partner in Indulgence: Crystal, Yuan, Belinda & Alex
Destination: Bintan.
3/4/06
Activities: Canoeing/Archery/Low Elements/Rock Climbling/Catching Crabs and fireflies/Watching the contellations.
The first thing I notice about loola is that it is a small cosy establishment that was run by family and friends. (Owned by a Dutch, lecturer of NUS) The view was spectacular. Our huts were built on the platform in the middle of the sea with linking platform to the main activities area. On the first day upon reaching Loola resort, we disuss our itinerary with the resort manager (Dul) for the rest of the day. He recommended the above activities. I can't wait for it to start!
Sure! I have done rock climbling before but that was like eons ago. My limbs were no longer as strong before (when i was playing badminton) and it prove to be quite a quest before reaching the top. Ha ha.. But the staffs there were encouraging and we bonded very well with them even though many of them couldn't speak English. Anyway, 'smiling' is the universal language so who cares. After Dinner, we went to hunt for crabs with some of the staffs as well as the other family who was with us.
Lunch and dinner were a spread. Dul's mum was the chief and she whip up mouth-watering dishes. The fishes and seafood were daily catch from the sea. Yummie!
After the crab hunting (which was amazing), it was about 9pm (10pm in Singapore), I went to the patio to chill out and Dul and his asst (Samsoo) came and join me. We watched the stars and spotted some falling stars. Then crystal and yuan joined us. It was fun interacting with the locals! Dul says we were having "Tigertalk" (a term loosely coined by them to make fun of ppl who were talking rubbish after drinking beer) But the funny thing is that none of us were drinking. But be intoxicated by the beauty of the place and knowing that we have 2 more days in little paradise.
4/4/06
Activities: Clam hunting/ Boom-netting (shiok)/campfire/a visit to the city
It was such a change to be awaken by the splash of the tides and not by the alarm or hp. I was literally awoken by the waves. Sitting at my bed, i could see the ocean right before my eyes. I surprise myself by waking up as early as (7am, GMT+7) when normally i'll sleep in till 1pm back at home. An exciting day await...
After breakfast, we were to hunt for clams. However, due to untrained eyes, we couldn't find any. With the help of the staffs, we manage to catch quite a handful (about 25 of them) They could be born with magnific and night vision eyes because they could really spot a crab or clam even in the dark. Incredible.
The highlight of the trip was the boom-netting. We took a boat out to sea and there was this even bigger boat waiting for us. They attached a net to the side of the boat and it's purpose is to catch us when we jump off the boat from the deck while the boat is traveling at full speed. Woohoo.. I though that that was a piece of cake compared to the platform jump (3 stories high) i have to perform before getting my gold-star certificate. But it was nothing like that. When the boat was traveling at high speed, i could not even stable myself. Ha ha.. After much cooing from the staff, i took the plunge. I tried that for a couple of times before requesting them to let me jump straight into the open water (w/o the net) as the net was really hurting and bruising my legs. That prove to be more fun! Its like jumping into the sea with the water embracing me from all sides! The breeze blowing in my face, warmth of the rays, coolness of the water and a great company. What more can i ask for?
After the boom-netting, we wanted to try the flying fox but i guess my body couldn't take it anymore. So we went back to our room for a nap before dinner. And after dinner, we took an hour journey ride to the city to get some exposure to the locals. We went to the city for some KTV session. ha ha.. Too bad, there is no K-box over there. Just some sleezy nightspot area. But the beer was like super cheap. $1.50 for a can. I told Dul that with that money, we can only get a can of Coke in Singapore.
Before i sleep, i think back of the marvelous day that i have spent. A great tan, some bruising on my legs and arms, beautiful photos, wonderful friends. How lucky i am.
5/4/06
Activities: Flying fox/ Shopping in the city/ Home
I wake up with a heavy heart knowing that it will be the last day there. All good things gotta end some day. Hmm.. Well at least breakfast was good to wash away the feelings. After that, we went for the flying fox. Good thing that my breakfast stay where they are suppose to be. It will be an ugly scene to be throwing up all over myself.
After that, we washed up and Dul arrand for our transfer to the city and we spend 3 hrs there shopping in their mall. Seriously, it sucks. There is nothing that i took fancy off. Its the girls' worst nightmare. With money to spend and nothing to buy. Its emotional suicide. Ha ha...
Afterthought:
I realise one thing about me through this trip. Not only am i a procrastinator, i am a hesitator as well.. Ha ha.. What's the difference right? Anyway, I am not as brave as i thought i am. Or rather used to be. Fear always gripped me and hesitating make the fear grew out of proportion. It happens to me all the time. Like the more we hesitate about something, we tend to do more rationalisation about why we should not do it. And try to convience ourself out of what we want to do. I'm not trying to say that we should plunge into things but that's just what we need at times. Because the more we think, the less we do.
I also realise that i have great appreciation for nature's beauty. I used to wonder why I love Geography so much even though i keep failing it. Ha ha.. Now i know. God's creation is perfect. He has a spirit of excellence and everything in it is perfect.
I'm inspired to earn more money to save up for my next trip outta singapore. It may not be loola the second time. maybe some other paradises tuck in other corners of the earth. Sound like ozzie to me. ha ha... Oh no, not Ozzie again!
The Loola Travelogue
Partner in Indulgence: Crystal, Yuan, Belinda & Alex
Destination: Bintan.
3/4/06
Activities: Canoeing/Archery/Low Elements/Rock Climbling/Catching Crabs and fireflies/Watching the contellations.
The first thing I notice about loola is that it is a small cosy establishment that was run by family and friends. (Owned by a Dutch, lecturer of NUS) The view was spectacular. Our huts were built on the platform in the middle of the sea with linking platform to the main activities area. On the first day upon reaching Loola resort, we disuss our itinerary with the resort manager (Dul) for the rest of the day. He recommended the above activities. I can't wait for it to start!
Sure! I have done rock climbling before but that was like eons ago. My limbs were no longer as strong before (when i was playing badminton) and it prove to be quite a quest before reaching the top. Ha ha.. But the staffs there were encouraging and we bonded very well with them even though many of them couldn't speak English. Anyway, 'smiling' is the universal language so who cares. After Dinner, we went to hunt for crabs with some of the staffs as well as the other family who was with us.
Lunch and dinner were a spread. Dul's mum was the chief and she whip up mouth-watering dishes. The fishes and seafood were daily catch from the sea. Yummie!
After the crab hunting (which was amazing), it was about 9pm (10pm in Singapore), I went to the patio to chill out and Dul and his asst (Samsoo) came and join me. We watched the stars and spotted some falling stars. Then crystal and yuan joined us. It was fun interacting with the locals! Dul says we were having "Tigertalk" (a term loosely coined by them to make fun of ppl who were talking rubbish after drinking beer) But the funny thing is that none of us were drinking. But be intoxicated by the beauty of the place and knowing that we have 2 more days in little paradise.
4/4/06
Activities: Clam hunting/ Boom-netting (shiok)/campfire/a visit to the city
It was such a change to be awaken by the splash of the tides and not by the alarm or hp. I was literally awoken by the waves. Sitting at my bed, i could see the ocean right before my eyes. I surprise myself by waking up as early as (7am, GMT+7) when normally i'll sleep in till 1pm back at home. An exciting day await...
After breakfast, we were to hunt for clams. However, due to untrained eyes, we couldn't find any. With the help of the staffs, we manage to catch quite a handful (about 25 of them) They could be born with magnific and night vision eyes because they could really spot a crab or clam even in the dark. Incredible.
The highlight of the trip was the boom-netting. We took a boat out to sea and there was this even bigger boat waiting for us. They attached a net to the side of the boat and it's purpose is to catch us when we jump off the boat from the deck while the boat is traveling at full speed. Woohoo.. I though that that was a piece of cake compared to the platform jump (3 stories high) i have to perform before getting my gold-star certificate. But it was nothing like that. When the boat was traveling at high speed, i could not even stable myself. Ha ha.. After much cooing from the staff, i took the plunge. I tried that for a couple of times before requesting them to let me jump straight into the open water (w/o the net) as the net was really hurting and bruising my legs. That prove to be more fun! Its like jumping into the sea with the water embracing me from all sides! The breeze blowing in my face, warmth of the rays, coolness of the water and a great company. What more can i ask for?
After the boom-netting, we wanted to try the flying fox but i guess my body couldn't take it anymore. So we went back to our room for a nap before dinner. And after dinner, we took an hour journey ride to the city to get some exposure to the locals. We went to the city for some KTV session. ha ha.. Too bad, there is no K-box over there. Just some sleezy nightspot area. But the beer was like super cheap. $1.50 for a can. I told Dul that with that money, we can only get a can of Coke in Singapore.
Before i sleep, i think back of the marvelous day that i have spent. A great tan, some bruising on my legs and arms, beautiful photos, wonderful friends. How lucky i am.
5/4/06
Activities: Flying fox/ Shopping in the city/ Home
I wake up with a heavy heart knowing that it will be the last day there. All good things gotta end some day. Hmm.. Well at least breakfast was good to wash away the feelings. After that, we went for the flying fox. Good thing that my breakfast stay where they are suppose to be. It will be an ugly scene to be throwing up all over myself.
After that, we washed up and Dul arrand for our transfer to the city and we spend 3 hrs there shopping in their mall. Seriously, it sucks. There is nothing that i took fancy off. Its the girls' worst nightmare. With money to spend and nothing to buy. Its emotional suicide. Ha ha...
Afterthought:
I realise one thing about me through this trip. Not only am i a procrastinator, i am a hesitator as well.. Ha ha.. What's the difference right? Anyway, I am not as brave as i thought i am. Or rather used to be. Fear always gripped me and hesitating make the fear grew out of proportion. It happens to me all the time. Like the more we hesitate about something, we tend to do more rationalisation about why we should not do it. And try to convience ourself out of what we want to do. I'm not trying to say that we should plunge into things but that's just what we need at times. Because the more we think, the less we do.
I also realise that i have great appreciation for nature's beauty. I used to wonder why I love Geography so much even though i keep failing it. Ha ha.. Now i know. God's creation is perfect. He has a spirit of excellence and everything in it is perfect.
I'm inspired to earn more money to save up for my next trip outta singapore. It may not be loola the second time. maybe some other paradises tuck in other corners of the earth. Sound like ozzie to me. ha ha... Oh no, not Ozzie again!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Fool rush in.
I'm definately reading myself to bankcruptcy. Have spent the less dollar on at the bookstore. But its so freaking worth it. Damn... Maybe i'll like to be a critics for novels and movies and give my say with their work. Ha ha.. That's so interesting. I get to comment/compliment on their work and need not pay a single cent for it. Ha ha..
Seems like i'm recently embarking on a journey of self discovery of the possible future jobs that i might be interested in. Its quite entertaining for me. However, most of the jobs that i might like seems really unrealistic. These are some of the jobs that i have ever considered throughout my teenage years. Rather amusing.
Here goes:
Hotel Manager (after seeing Zoe Tay on some chinese drama with Tay Pin Hui), Parker Ranger (at Bluemountain or Yellowstone. ha ha), National Badminton Player, National Swimmer, Travel Journalist, Tour Guide, Translator (Chinese-English), Novel/Movie/Critics, Event Executive, Destination Developer, Personal Shopper (influence by Shoppaholic series), Tai-tai (Does it count? Well.. maybe not really that), and many more to come...
And what i am:
A Couch Potato wishing i am one of the above.
What i am going to do:
Wish harder and maybe i can really be one of the above.
Feeling:
Rathing depressing.
Enough said. Ha ha.. Anyway, let me put those out of my mind for now. There's a BIG celebration for my sis 21st bdae today. April Fool's Day. What if her friend don't show up? What if they play a prank on her? Who cares! It's not me anyway. Ha ha.. Just kidding.
Funny how time just flee right before my very eyes. 1 year have passed since my own 21st celebration. What actually take place on that day was a blur to me. I haven't even taste ANY food that my father painstakingly take to prepare at dawn. But still i taste the sweetness of their love to me. That's enough. Well... maybe i'll like to have one of those delicious skewer too.. Damn..
My dad is not going to be at my sis celebration as he is away at Guangzhou right now. Still I hope that he is here with us. The picture ain't complete without him.
-Does love have a reason?-
Seems like i'm recently embarking on a journey of self discovery of the possible future jobs that i might be interested in. Its quite entertaining for me. However, most of the jobs that i might like seems really unrealistic. These are some of the jobs that i have ever considered throughout my teenage years. Rather amusing.
Here goes:
Hotel Manager (after seeing Zoe Tay on some chinese drama with Tay Pin Hui), Parker Ranger (at Bluemountain or Yellowstone. ha ha), National Badminton Player, National Swimmer, Travel Journalist, Tour Guide, Translator (Chinese-English), Novel/Movie/Critics, Event Executive, Destination Developer, Personal Shopper (influence by Shoppaholic series), Tai-tai (Does it count? Well.. maybe not really that), and many more to come...
And what i am:
A Couch Potato wishing i am one of the above.
What i am going to do:
Wish harder and maybe i can really be one of the above.
Feeling:
Rathing depressing.
Enough said. Ha ha.. Anyway, let me put those out of my mind for now. There's a BIG celebration for my sis 21st bdae today. April Fool's Day. What if her friend don't show up? What if they play a prank on her? Who cares! It's not me anyway. Ha ha.. Just kidding.
Funny how time just flee right before my very eyes. 1 year have passed since my own 21st celebration. What actually take place on that day was a blur to me. I haven't even taste ANY food that my father painstakingly take to prepare at dawn. But still i taste the sweetness of their love to me. That's enough. Well... maybe i'll like to have one of those delicious skewer too.. Damn..
My dad is not going to be at my sis celebration as he is away at Guangzhou right now. Still I hope that he is here with us. The picture ain't complete without him.
-Does love have a reason?-
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