Fighting through all the demands of school work and social life leave me breathless by the time i crawl to my bed. Without a doubt, I make it through the day with God's grace. If not, I don't think i am able to make it thus far. All the blessings of good grades and smooth project members. All the 'on the dot' submission of assignment, the enlightening of tough projects. All came through at the right moment. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank God..

Schedules are packed to the brim, threatening my emotions to be disfunctional. Not that my emotions are keep in checked all the time (base on my history). Tension headaches, not eating again.. What are the tell-tales signs again? But i know i'm going to get through it once again. Like how i have manage the last few times. But why work so hard for? What do i want to get?

Being the leader of the pack ain't easy. Being a follower is even more difficult for me. Contradiction? That's my middle name. What i want?

Its back to the 'wanting and not having it' period again. It gotta strike me once in a while. Making myself feel useless and unfulfilled. Regrets, remorse, etc... What i want? That i do not know. But i know THIS is not what i want. Discontentment is the prison. How to be content when u know u can do so much more? What i want actually?

Just finishing ranting... Thanks for listening. Crawling back to bed now. Maybe the lights can finally be dimmed and a good night rest awaits. Or maybe not...



"How can i be found when i don't even know i am lost?

2006

No count down, no fancy party dresses, no dancing till wee hours of the morning. Xmas and new year just done pass like that. Nothing for me to remember by. By plain and simple. Yet i am happy.

Away from the crowds, from all the noises. That reason is enough reason for me to celebrate. Not forgetting the tonnes of xmas presents i have recieve. Haha... Anyway, u might call it anti-social. Homebody is what i said it is.

Actually the crucial part is not about how i celebrate xmas or new year. Its about what have gone by in 2005. Walking down memory land is something i do best. I have gain some and lose some. But in the end, i'm pretty satisfied with what i have.

a large part of the early 2005 is bout Andre.. Don't really feel like blogging about him because there's nothing much to say. Maybe just that i am glad its over. I think i am anyway. We are better off without each other. Me crossing over to adulthood with the 21st birthday marking the start of the journey. Then it was to Sentosa campus, the ultra long journey and the people watch on the MRT. the depression that haunt me once again and tearing me into pieces. Thank God that it was over. Through this, i have found God once again. big move to Expo and joining worship ministry, all the friends that have stood with me like shelley and tina, working at Gta and gaining industrial experience... well... its all part of 2005. All in a blink of an eye. Where have all the time gone to?

I hope that 2006 is a year of breakthrough for me. With many things being accomplished and fulfilling many things i hope to achieve. there is maybe only 1 thing that i want to learn in this new year. Time management. Haiz.. A procratinator is learning how to manage her time. I hope she don't procrastinate learning. hahaz...

Anyway, Happy New Year to all people reading this entry. God will bless u if u ask Him to. Speak it.







Genesis 1:3 And God said: "Let there be light, and there was light."