I'm going round in circle. going round and round. Like the horse carrousel in magical theme park. Going round and round. But mine wasn't so beautiful, mine wasn't so attractive. Mine was was going round and round. For five years, it has been going round and round. I thought it was going somewhere, i thought it was far from where i have been. But it's still going round and round.
I put on my worn-out mask. Everyday, it was on me. Such brave front. I had that mask. For five years it was with me. My worn out mask. I feel hideous without my mask. I can't face no one. I thought i was pretty and i thought i was real. But nobody know the real me so i had on my mask. I have decieved everyone. I have me decieved. I don't need a mask anymore. I am the mask.
All that is going to change now. I hope it will. Gone are the merry-go-round and the mask. The past will be dog-earred in my page and they will leave a stain. But i will continue reading the book until have reach the last page. And the ending of the story will be : "And she live happily ever after. "
2 comments:
haas. you may be sitting in e carrousels but you hv me sitting right beside you.
for five years, yes, even its ten years, it will go somewhere, it will stop someday. and you will choose when and how you'll stop it and where you will land at. you're pretty, you're real.
youre e girl whom amberr never fails to be disappointed with. you nvr did deceived yourself, theres no mask, because He is beside you. the past is gone, cherish the present and anticipate the future. only by faith, then you can sit in the best carrousels, look your best and live your best. and definitely, have e best buddies like me!
im startin to feel that the distance between us this sem is good. i love to miss christine and i love to see her smiling like the sun when she sees me. i love to scream and jump in happiness when i see her. although she may still look calm, but, i like her calm, cos then that will excite and urge amberr to hug her tightly or thug her hands with appreciation.
you will live happily ever after, you will. :)
thanks angee.. But u know, deep under the calm look, the excitement was boiling. I enjoyed seeing u too. But u seems excited in seeing everyone too la. U r a siao girl! The distance may be double-edged sword. Depends on how we used it. Let's used to in the right way!
This is to comment on your blog.
Love blind people to a point we force ourselves to see things that it wasn't even there. Like a mirage. We thought it was beautiful because we allow our mind to take us to places where we want to go. But in reality, it is a far cry from our imagination. We get disillusioned and sometimes lives in self-denial. I don't know about you, but i was like that when im with Mr leong.
He can't commit to me because he don't want it bad enough. I don't deserve such a man who don't want me bad enough to sacrifice for me. =) Now i'm with someone who give me His biggest sacfrifice. He gave me his life, his holy blood as a pledge to me that says He love me so much and will be forever committed to me, if i have faith to believe.
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