Moments

Time is the essence of life. And how true is that. We can lose big fortune or fail in business but we can always earn it back. But not time. Time has the irreversible factor that makes it so valuable but also at the same time vulnerable. It has the ability to escape from us even before we think about it.

Here I am in my final year thinking back to the time when I first started poly and telling myself that it is gonna be a long 3 years. I should really eat my words. Its the mid term test week again and I have already started school for more than a month. Before I know it, I'll be doing my internship! All these is happening too fast for me to digest it. Too fast.

Time is the essence of life.

Recently, I have all the craziest idea in my head. I am to step out of my comfort zone and do very radical things that I would never have done. Why live life like how other expect me to live? Maybe I was right all along.

I know that in everyone's deepest mind, they believe that they are special. They believe that they are different from everyone else and they will be a cut above the rest. In everyone's mind, they are their own king and queen, prince and princess. They believe that they are a unique individual and no one can come even close. I believe that's how they felt inside. That's how I felt inside anyway. And I know that I am right.

Why be comformed to the world? Why let the world tells you what you should do and not do? Why let people talk you into believing that your dreams are impossible just because they don't dare to dream?

Comformity is the death of creativity.

Nowadays I find myself appreciating the little beauty in life. I'll stop in my track and start taking pictures of my surrounding. A beauty sunset, the sun's ray that got filtered by layers of canopy of branches and leave a trail of disperse lights, a child laughing in the playground and even shadows. I guess I am going crazy. I'm crazy about life. Falling in love with it once again.

I am in love.

I have always saying that life is all about moments. And all these moments sum up to life. My life. =) Its magical.


Thank you Lord.

Bkk trip

The trip to Bangkok with the girls have finally been finalised. We'll depart from SIN on the 6th july and and coming back from BKK on the 9th july. I have been meaning to plan the itinerary for us but really have no time to do it. From what I have gathered, Kao San Road is the place to be. Its like the backpackers paradise in BKK and offers a wide range of retails therapy for the perfect 'shop till you drop' experience. How cool is it!

I guess the girls want to watch some 'cultured' show like the Tiger Show or something similar. But I guess I won't want to join them. From my take from Pei lin who had just came back from BKK, the show leave an unpleasant after-effect. I won't want to be in her shoe. Well, the girls can go and watch it, I'll probably hang out in some bar or do some night shopping. =)

I also wish to go to the palace for photo-taking and take the river cruise. I wonder if we have the time for it. Because time is really short and it is difficult to satisfy everyone at the same time. Everyone will have someplaces that they want to see. But luckily, those that are going are pretty much easy go lucky so I don't see a major issue on this one. Just can't wait for the 6th of July to come.

I saw this piece of information from my school website. They are looking for students some a 1 week student exchange programme to Macau. I am so keen on going and decided to email my tutor and sign up for it. Apparently, there are only 20 students that will be chosen from all over the world. I guess TP will be sending the most 2 students to take part? I hope I'll be one of them. But the drawback is that I got to pay for my own programme fees but heavily subsidy by the school. Let's just hope that money will not be an issue this time. If not i'll have to sell tissue in coffee shops.

Hmm... Shall stop now. Its my bro's turn to use the computer. My mum just bought him this new pc which cost more than $2000. Personally, I felt that it is so stupid to buy a computer rather than a laptop. Apple ibook cost only a fraction of that. $1600 to be exact. But my mum, as usual, dote on my brother so much just buy him what he wants (and deprive me of my Macau exchange programme). She says the reason to buy a computer is to make him stay at home to play games rather than going out. If she buys a lap top, he will be taking it out to play. I guess she has a point too...

Grease

It never fails to inspire me after each episode of Take5. This time the TJs went to Wellington. FYI, its the capital of New Zealand. In the past, I always thought that the capital of New Zealand is Auckland until when I was in year 1 and we took the module on Travel Geography and realise that it was actually Wellington. I have not even heard of that place before till then.

I never have a thing for New Zealand until today. As you haven't already know by now, my heart is already in Aussie. I always have a misconception that NZ is full of greens and sheeps and nothing much to see. But I was so fr*aking wrong about it. Wellington is situated at the southen point of the North Island of NZ. A capital in its own right. More like a country than a city, it was surrounded by sea and mountain. It is also known as 'Windy Welli' and as the name suggest, it is super windy! Its captivating beauty of the natural landscape earn its name as 'Middle Earth' in LOTR. I'm make sure I'll do a research on NZ and do a thorough post on my blog. But for those who have been to NZ or have read about interesting thing about it, do leave a comment. We'll ALL discuss about it.

Actually that's what i intend to do! Each month, I'll have a selected country or city that I want to talk about. I'll do a thorough research on that place and blog it here. So that everyone can enjoy it at the comfort of their own home. =) I am doing a project on Da Nang right now. I guess I'll do a post on Da Nang after the submission of my project. Oh, for those that still don't know, Da Nang is actually an up and coming place for tourism in Vietnam. It is sandwiched between Hue and Hoi Ann that are listed in the UNESCO World Heritage sites in the world. Has a lot of potential for tourism development, which is what my project is all about. "Destination planning and development". How interesting!!

Haha... I can see some of you rolling your eyes* now.

Anyway, I hope that I have the time to do what I say I will do. And do a good job and convince you guys that I can actually write. Ha ha..

Right now, I am really excited!! Tomorrow I am going to watch GREASE, A Musical. I can't wait! Going with Linda and her friends. When I first saw the advertisement in early March, I pray and tell God that I really wanna watch this show. And whoever asked me to the musical, I'll marry him. Haha.. Linda asked me to the show. So ... Ha ha.. Its a 'her' instead of a 'him'. But who cares when the lead artists are gorgeous.

I remembered watch Grease about 5 years ago. They were shown in the theater to celebrate their 20 years anniverary or something. The movie ROCKS my world.

John Travolta, Olivia Newton John, Retro, Summer Love, Pink Ladies, Black Leather Jackets, Bell Bottoms, Cars, Diners, High School Carnivals, Girlfriends, Sandra Dee, Polka Dots. All these came to mind.

I'll get ready to be ROCKED again tomorrow at the Indoor Stadium! Await for my next post!


Ciao~

Lovely Sentosa

Been caught up by work and school recently and hence not able to blog more often. But I guess I'm gonna have to stop work soon. If not, I really cannot catch up with my studies. But work has been really fun and liberating.

Recently, I find myself zoning out VERY OFTEN. I could board a bus, ride on the 20min journey, alight at my bus stop and walk home without knowing what I have just did. When I got home, I can suddenly 'wake' up from my spacing out session and wonder how the hell I did all that without thinking about it. Its actually quite dangerous because I don't even remember how I cross the road. It is like you switch off the manual mode and turn on the auto mode where your body just do all those things for you and you just go along with it. Like you are a stranger in your own mind and your mind just does these things for you. What happen to me within that period of time is really strange. Because I don't know what I am doing or thinking. Or am i thinking of anything? It just kinda shut down. I hope it doesn't just happen to me but to everybody as well. I should really get more sleep.

Yesterday was a really long day for me. But I enjoy every second of it. I hit the beach again in the morning. And surprise surprise! The water was so clean. Yeah you heard right. The water in Sentosa is CLEAN! Oh my God, I should really eat my words when I always complain that the water there is poisonous. I was just lying on the mat and soaking in all the rays. And contemplating whether I should listen to my MP3. Thank God I didn't. Because if you listen really closely, you could hear the melodious surge of the waves when it hit the shore. Its rhythemic sound and motion put me in a trance and I imagine myself somewhere far away. After about an hour of day-dreaming cum suntanning, i went into the water to feel its embrace. That was the moment for me. (when my day just got started, how wonderful!) The moment where everything else just fades away. I may be there all by myself but that was enough for me. Thankfully i was alone because I won't want any conversations in the world to spoil the moment for me! I'm such an introvert! Hehe!

After that soul rejuvenating afternoon, I went back to TAS and met up with my 'almost but not there yet' cell member to catch up and went off to the airport. During work, I chat up with this very old man and he told me that he is 100 years old. My gosh! He went on to tell me about his life and how he fought in war and his post war struggle. I knew in my heart that this man live out his dreams and he would not regret his life even if he was to die the next day. He told me he intend to buy over some businesses from Philippines and intend to revamp and develop it. Oh my, he was speaking like he is some 30 years old man, full of drives and dreams! No one can beat that. Amazing.

At 11pm sharp, punched my card and went straight to town. Meeting my friend for a drink. We went to Rouge and stay there for the rest of the night till they close shop. Had very 'cultured' exchange when we started talking about Japanese language and the culture. Actually I felt that Japanese language is not very difficult to learn and their living lifestyle is quite similar to Singaporean. Not that much of a culture shock really.

The language that I most wanted to learn is Spanish. It was probably inspired by Dirty Dancing. Spanish is the most widely used language in the world besides English. It speaks like a song, sexy and passionate like a dance. I just know a few sentences like;

Hola, como estas? (Hello, how are you?)

Bien / moy bien (Good/ very good)

me gusta mucho (I like you very much)

Ono, dos, tres, cuatro (1,2,3,4)

Gracias (Thank you)

Si/no (Yes/no)

Ciao (Bye)

I'm so proud of myself! Haha... I'm taking baby step to learn it. Best to learn from someone rather than the books because most books are not very user friendly.

Ok, I have to get back to my project research.

Ciao~

Blogging

I'm gonna keep this a short one. Haven't realise how blogging has made me into a slave until now. There are still a million things for me to do and yet I on my pc and blog. Moments like this makes me ponder on who is the master and who is the slave.

It also spark on this question of why I start blogging in the first place. Initially, I refuse to give anyone my blog's address for the fear that others will have a chance to peek into my world. I only allow Wendy and YZ's eyes to roam here for the fact that both are really close to me. But then someone told me that if I don't want anyone to read my blog, I could always keep a diary. True. But I write better on the keyboard. Seriously, I'm not joking. Now I cannot do my assigment with pen and paper. How the technology had enslaved me. Tsk tsk..

Well, the reason why I started to share my blog with others is because I want people to be critical about my writing. I want to write for an audience. Practising for my future career. (Haha) So I must be bold enough to write and allow comments from others. It is more for commenting on the style and topic/theme of writing rather than the content in itself. And the other time, my friend, Ivy, told me she read my blog and like it. It was such an encouragement for me.

However, a recent event makes me wonder if blogging is really such a great way for expressing my thoughts. We all know about this boy who make racist remarks on his blog and got himself in legal issues. I have actually read his blog and I seriously think that he must have been high on drugs to say such things. It was undigestable and was so uncalled for. But that happen to this guy which I don't know personally. To side track, just wondering what is the correct term used for such cases? People getting into trouble for writing something bad on their blog about something and get caught? I just couldn't remember it off hand.

Anyways, Just 2 days ago, a very close guy friend of mine told me that he got into trouble with the stuff he wrote on his blog. I was really pissed off. Not for the fact that he wrote something bad or the person that reported him. But for the reason that we are accountable for even what we wrote in our online diary. If I have to vet through what I want to write about, it won't be as authentic and raw as it is intended to be. It has loses the meaning of it all.

On the other hand, after thinking of it for awhile, I think that maybe I am wrong.

A pen is mightier than a sword. That is why in ancient China , Emperor Qing ordered all the scholar books and writen document to be burned. He realise that words have a huge impact on others. It has the abilty to influence our thinking. Like how the debate about the imfamous Da Vinci Code novel by Dan Brown. Words are really powerful and we need to be dicerning to know the facts from the fiction. So that is why writers must be responsible for the things they write about and practice discretion and ethics.

That does not mean that I think my friend did the wrong thing. I just think he is unlucky. Of all people, why must it be him. And the things that he says must have been what he felt. And why must he be faulted for how he feels?

Hmm.. anyway, this is suppose to be a short entry. So I shan't go on further. I hope my entries so far have not offended anyone in anyway though.

I'm starting to really feel the toll on me since school started. School stuff, work, going out, church, SIP interview and all is starting to have its effect on me. Dark circles, blood-shot eyes, yawning during inappropriate time, missing classes. And this is suppose to be a rather laid back semester for me.

On saturday, I bring Max around singapore and feel so much like s tourist as well. I took the bumpy boat ride at Clark Quay to Boat quay, went Arab streets and the flee market, geylang for durian and mangoesteen; which is suppose to be the royal family of fruits, walking aimlessly around the CDB area looking at architectual structures (Max's an architect). Really, just taking the train and dropping off where our instinct tells us to and walk.

And we get into the topics of perception. He can see the side of Singapore where I totally miss. Like the trees and cleaniness and the warmth of the people or the humidity of the weather. Which I really took for granted. Its like his senses are all open to absorb all the different things and it totally overwhelmed him. At the end of the day I ask him how he find Singapore and he answered.

1. Singapore is too nice. Its like so right that it is wrong because nothing can be too right.
2. He don't understand why people can wear jeans and not die of the heat.
3. Great food culture.
4. Excellence MRT network system.
5. A place where people are too sheltered and usually conform to do what the government says.
6. A good place to quit smoking because the cigarettes are too expensive and the picture in front of the box are too gross to look at.
7. Nothing is really worth seeing but when you put everything you have see and do and experience, it is actually wonderful.
8. A place that is good for raising his children because it is safe.
9. Attractive girls and not so attractive guys. ha ha


Anyway, I see Max off at golden mile complex yesterday. He is making his way to KL and other part of south east Asia but promise to drop by Singapore again when he is done before he head back to his real life in London. Although he keep urging me to go home and get my passport and jump in the coach with him. How i wish! During his time here, he has shared so much stuff with me. And not only have i learn so much about him, I learnt so much about myself as well. Its so liberating. Just when I am starting to get use to him; his quirky habit of pulling the back of my shirt and the infamous goofy grin, he is leaving. It is evident that I don't do goodbyes very well huh.

All hello always end with goodbyes.

Anyway, I'm really so tired right now i don't think i can make it through my SIP Interview later. Slept for only 6 hours since thursday. It's really bad. I get into this hibernation mode when i don't get enough rest. So i better jump into bed right now for a power nap before I go for the interview. Ciao

cultural vulture

This few days have been so exciting for me. If you not have already know this by now, I love entertaining people from overseas. Hence the job at Harry; Airport. Everyday i see new faces, new cultural experiences and stories. And also the fact that I prefer western culture to chinese. No offense.

Talking about cultural differences. I think there is hell lot of differences in our way of life. Seriously, i attribute to our education system and the way our parents bring us up. People in western countries are so laid back regarding their academic progression. What's school anyway? School is like a platform for them to social around, prom night; prom queen and sex after that, booze and drugs, running for council, fashion parade for the 'mean girls', ect.. Sure, they are of course the other end of the consortium.

Look into Singapore context. Its all about the paper chase. Thinking about it, it rather amaze me that i endure all that. Its not trash. I am not going to condemn the system because evidently we usually do better that foreigners academical wise. But does it adequately prepare us for the future? With globalisation and the encouragement of the government to have an entrepreneurial spirit, can we make it?

But who usually does better in the real working world? Who are the entrepreneurs that are really making big $?

The thought makes me shiver.

Anyway, coming back to the main thing i want to say is. I have been entertaining people from overseas this couple of days. Showing them around Singapore like a rightfully tour guide. Its so fun! Just like what i always want to do!

Yesterday night was this 2 guys from California (Matt and Zach, the cute one). They were sitting at the bar at Harry when we suggest to bring them out to the city. So off we went. We ended up sitting by Singapore River laughing, talking playing some really silly games thru the night. ;D That's my idea of fun.

And then there was Max who is from London. Me and Zelle was actually going to check out this vintage shop in Icon and we bump into this really lost looking guy. And then the inner urge to help him overcome me. (Hospitality student, what can u say?) So we ended up meeting him later in the night and bring him on a trail of makansutra. Haha.. What really is memorable for me is going to the backpackers hostel for the very first time in my life. I really got a shock at how run-down the facilities are. But they are just paying SIN$10/nt. So anyone who is running away from home can afford to go there. Haha.. Anyway, he invited us to go and take a look at the place and of course i jump at the opportunity!! We ended up talking to other backpackers from AUSSIE!!, hungary, france and a couple more. It was really eye opening for me. You guys know i totally dig that right!!!


Enough said. Shall blog more about my experience in a couple more days. (Yes, we are meeting again later!!)



Chrissy the tour guide. OUT.

SIP Blues

I was just writing my resume and cover letter earlier in the morning. I have sent to a few companies that i have short-listed. Hopefully I will hear from them soon. But actually, I really don't fancy any one of those but have gotten no choice.

That brings us to another point i always wanted to blog about. Why have we become slave to the system of the world? When life restrict us to do things we truely want to do? Many times, I have heard people complaining about things that they need to do but don't really want to. I feel sad for them. And for me too. Because I know when i go out to work, I'll be like them.

Why can't we live for ourself? Simply because we can't. As much as I want to. To live by the beach in some exotic coastal area. Have a beach house that caters to tourists all over the world. Have a beachboy by my side, sipping wine and watching the sun goes down. Dancing and swimming in the moonlight. I know it is too far fetch.

I'll be stuck in a job that will not interest me as much. A payroll that can't support my lifestyle. Movies, coffee and shopping mall. Maybe a boring guy that I go home to everyday. A few kids down the road.

Why can't we do what we want? Because we conform to the norms of our society? Or is it because we dare not really step out of the comfort zone that has protected us so well from the outside world?

Like the SIP, I know that I want more than what was offer. But I gotta struck with it because it is part of assignment. I know I am capable of more than that, but the opportunities are lacking. I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to break free from this viscious cycle that i am in.


Yearning to be set free.

Multi-faces

How many different sides does a person actually have? How many do I own? What we thought ourselves as is never the same as what other people thought we were. It is rather subjective.

I know what kind of person I am and how I am going to react to various situations. But does that means that I know myself well? My friends may think that I am otherwise. So does it means that they don't know me well? I guess nobody can be certain enough to say that he or she knows a person very well. I couldn't. People do change, and that's life all about. Changing and becoming more and more like who we are meant to be.

We could be lovers, friends or even our family. But sometimes, what they say to us or do to us could make us feel like we are strangers. We could be married for many years and still be strangers to each other in many ways.

What is my favourite colour? My favourite food, or music, or movie? I could tell you today and you could easily forget it tomorrow. Or you may have it engraved it forever in your heart and yet I may have forgotten even saying it. People change, we are forgetful, we don't listen with our heart. We are after all imperfect. We are after all human. Who can fault me for the things I do when they themselves are many times guilty of the crime they committed?

You and me, we, are self centred beings. We like to talk and seldom listen. Sometimes we even speak for the sake to make noises. How uncomfortable silent can be at times. We ask questions no intending to listen. Maybe for the sake of trying to look interested in someone elses life?

I don't know. And I am not in the position to judge.

Human interaction is really a complex thing. Why do some people just click with some and not others? Why when 2 strangers' eyes met for the very first time, there is an connection we feel? Why do love at first sight exist? And what exactly is 'chemistry'? No one can really put a word to that. It is just something we feel. Right?

Perhaps when we truely open up our inner self to others, the more we trust them, love them and yet at the same time feel vulnerable to them, but still continue to trust. That could be how when people are thrown together in a crisis, they bond quickier and stronger. That's when everything is at stake and they have nothing more to lose except themselves. And maybe that's when we understand ourselves and others more. To see the multi-faces of them (mind u, i don't mind hypocrites). It can only be done when we step out of our comfort zone and thrust ourself into the unknown.

Technology Giant

I was out with the girls for some bonding time at the beach of Sentosa (where else can we fine decent beach in singapore right?) It was such fine time. Everything was terrific except for the weather. It was too cloudy to work on my tan. =( We should go earlier the next time round.

Jorine was like this really funny girl always cracking us up. And she is this one special friend that never fails to have me laughing till my tummy feels weak. While eating, Yiling wanted to separate her share from us cuz she is sick and the conversation goes like this;

Ling: I don't want to just bite off the noodle like that and leave my germs around the food.
Jo: It's ok la. I'm also sick what.
Ling: Don't want la, not nice.
Jo: Aiyah, its ok la. You sick, I sick and jinwen is a sicko. So its ok.
Me and jinwen: ... ...

I think only Jorine can think of such things to say. Ha ha.. And by the way, never wear reflective shade when you go out with her. She keep checking herself her like in front of the mirror. I guess if she is someone who uses make-up, she will use it to apply her lipstick too.

And after that we went SimLim Square to get MP3. (Mp4 are already out????) They getting it for my birthday. It's my virgin set!! How laggy can i get. Anyway, the saleman keep throwing those big techie jargon in my face and really scare the shit out of me. I simply need to know how much that cost.

And then i asked a stupid question. "How you dl music into the mp3." Oh God, i wish i didn't say that out loud. He looks at me like I'm joking or some kind of freak. I think Yiling got my point and try to explain something like just "copy and paste".

Well, i think i can do that. How difficult can it get. Right?? I am going to conquere this thing.

I don't know, i can never really get it when it comes to IT stuff. My mind will go into this auto switch-off mode when someone mention everything to do with that. My mind just don't register! I did some self-analysis on myself on why i react this way. Maybe because I'm slow to adapt to changes and the IT industry has evolved in an exponential way and I simply give up. It's ever changing and when I finally get the hang of something, it has already moved on. Taking the music player for instance. FM radio -> Walkman -> Discman ->MP3 -> MP4 ->?
What's next? I don't know. I'm still a beginner on MP3 i must say.

Love

What if we all have been misled throughout our life? The moment when we begin to make sense of the things around us till the point we are now. What if the movies and books are all telling us the wrong thing? About love, about life, about dreams or even about our bodies?

What if we thought that love is all about falling head over heels with each others? Whispering honey-coated words to each others. Getting funny feelings in the guts. Indulging in his/her presence? Maybe it is about following our emotions and letting our heart ruling over our head. And we can't really stop who our heart choose to love right? Or can we? It seems that our heart and our mind has a different criteria when it comes to loving someone. The mind chooses rationally, examining all the characteristics that you hope your other-half should possess. However the heart chooses without following any rules or regulations. And no one can explain why they love someone.

When someone says they love someone but doesn't know why, they are actually loving with their heart. And many of us are guilty of that. To put it in a nicer term, it is saying that "I don't even know why i like you, but i do. To say it bluntly, it is saying that "I don't know what's so good about you but I am attracted to you, probably in a physical way.

When we were younger, we love with all our hearts. We love like there is no tomorrow. We love fiercely and strongly as if we cannot do without it everyday. Its almost like we get our energy from it. People tend to think that teenagers do not know what love is all about. Those people couldn't be more wrong about it.

But when we grow older, we love with our mind. Because we could not afford to love with our heart anymore. Its like playing with fire. Its dangerous and burn our finger too easily. Maybe we could not handle such risk anymore. Or the pain that love can leave us scarred and wounded. Or rather we have finally realise that true love is not what is deplicted by Hollywood. It may not be a dramatic affairs that we can put on our resume of life. To show off that once in our lifetime, we have love strongly and fiercely.

Maybe when we first love with our mind. We take careful consideration into the person's character and personality. And we decide if we want to carry on seeing that person. We may want to access his credibilty and all.. And after all the initial stage, and making sure that the person is what we are looking for. And knowing that it is the one God wants you to be with. After knowing all that, we can start loving with our heart. We can fall in love and head over heel in love with that person. Because we know that that person will most probably be Mr Right. And not just Mr Right-Now.

Best is yet to come

In a fine dining restaurant, they usually serve a five course meal which consist of a starter (usually soup), appetizer, entree, desert and coffee/tea. If having a five course meal is an epitome of life, which course do you wish to be having now?

For me, I wish to be having the appetizer salad course. To me, it symbolises that my life is just about to kick off into full gear. And yet at the same time, knowing that I have gone beyond the starter stage. Already not as hungry for life as when it all first start to make sense to me. But most importantly, knowing that the best is yet to come. Full of expectancy and anticipation for what is to come.

In my point of view, I felt that the most trying dish to a chef's skill is the appetizer. It sets the tone of what the guest should expect yet trying its best not to outdo what is yet to come but at the same time not downplaying it. Just the right taste to tease our palate yet not quite getting there.

Then after that, it will be the real thing. The Entree, the main course of the evening. What everyone is waiting for. But for me, I guess i am not ready for that just yet. Maybe a few more years more.

So in the meantime, I'll just have a salad. Thank you.

I'm now in a state of great disillusion.

When the hard cold reality finally slap me in my face and I feel the sting that linger longer than i wish it to be. I couldn't stand the disappointment of knowing that what was promised (by myself) was repay with nothing worth mentioning. I was exploited! My dreams were broken by the practicality of reality.

And i have myself to blame. I was the one that told myself to climb that ladder. To think big and dream big. But what was offer to me was dirt. The tears could be the only evidence of the remains of broken dreams. I should not have any hint of expectation in the first place.

Take the lead

Been a really long time since I have caught a movie that have me clapping and cheering in the cinema. Yea, i know its kinda dumb to do that. But i just can't help it. And the funny thing is, I'm not the only one. Well, the movie is none other than "Take the Lead", starring Antonio Banderas. You know that guy from Zoro with the hot and sexy Catherine Zeta Zones. Yup, that's him. And he is Hot, Hot and Hot with the capital H. Sizzling... I thought that he is the sexiest man alive. To me anyway.

I like man with those really intense eyes that speak volumes. Like Antonio's and maybe Pierre Bosnan. They are so painful to look at. Like a work of art. Ok, maybe i'm getting too far. But i believe you get my point. ha ha

Going back to the movies. I realised that i am particularly fond of movies that are associate with dancing. Billy Elliotte, Honey, Shall we dance, Save the last dance, Dirty Dancing 2, Grease, just to name a few. I really digs them!! I simply feel the energy and vibes within those movies and wish that i can move like they do. I'll kill to be in their shoe (no pun intended). But it seems like i have two left foot. *sobz*

Please, go catch that movie. Worth every penny.

Anyway, enough about that. In my last entry, i was just talking about having dreams and fulfilling it. Today, my best friend called me with a really great news. She was selected in the interview for SIA. Man, she was overjoyed. I mean, it was really her dream to be a Singapore Girl. And she gotten it! Talking about having dreams coming true huh. Really happy for her. Ha ha.. good job Wendy!

Today is Good friday. For people that are clueless as of why today is a public holiday, well this is it. About 2000 years ago, this man by the name of Jesus was crucified on the cross on calvery to die for our sin so that we can have life. On that fateful day, records were written on our history book and our names are written on the book of life. He died so that we may live. The greatest sacrifice.

Dare to Dream

I realise that i have lost the ability to dream. I have forgotten how it is like to dream big. My eyes of logic and self doubts have dimmed and restricted myself from daring to dream the impossible. I have forgotten that inside me, there is someone that is capable of doing the impossible, someone that have great strength and power. I have forgotten to look inside me.

Dreams are such wonderful things. They are like the direction that guides us into achieving greater works. The initator for much bigger goals. Without dreams, life will be nothing more than the mundanes. Yikes.

It was said that when Pandora open the box, plagues, sufferings, pains and sorrow escape from it and infiltrate the world. But it was said that 'hope' escape as well. Because if not for that, we won't be where we are now. No hopes and dreams to cushion the rough edges of reality. Its the unthinkable.

But i realise that there is a fatal killer for dreams. No, its not the lack of courage to believe, or maybe the rationalisation of it. To me, it is the inability of conceptualising our dreams it into reality. I believe that there is a space between our dreams and reality. People get stumbled in that space. I fear that for myself too. To cross that bridge, its not easy. But no one says that its gonna be easy anyway. If we don't close that gap, even the biggest dreams, will not come to pass if we do nothing to it. It'll always remains in our dreams; intangible.







"All of our dreams can come true- if we have the courage to pursue them" - Walt Disney

Loola paradise

Updates on my Bintan Trip.
The Loola Travelogue

Partner in Indulgence: Crystal, Yuan, Belinda & Alex
Destination: Bintan.

3/4/06

Activities: Canoeing/Archery/Low Elements/Rock Climbling/Catching Crabs and fireflies/Watching the contellations.

The first thing I notice about loola is that it is a small cosy establishment that was run by family and friends. (Owned by a Dutch, lecturer of NUS) The view was spectacular. Our huts were built on the platform in the middle of the sea with linking platform to the main activities area. On the first day upon reaching Loola resort, we disuss our itinerary with the resort manager (Dul) for the rest of the day. He recommended the above activities. I can't wait for it to start!

Sure! I have done rock climbling before but that was like eons ago. My limbs were no longer as strong before (when i was playing badminton) and it prove to be quite a quest before reaching the top. Ha ha.. But the staffs there were encouraging and we bonded very well with them even though many of them couldn't speak English. Anyway, 'smiling' is the universal language so who cares. After Dinner, we went to hunt for crabs with some of the staffs as well as the other family who was with us.

Lunch and dinner were a spread. Dul's mum was the chief and she whip up mouth-watering dishes. The fishes and seafood were daily catch from the sea. Yummie!

After the crab hunting (which was amazing), it was about 9pm (10pm in Singapore), I went to the patio to chill out and Dul and his asst (Samsoo) came and join me. We watched the stars and spotted some falling stars. Then crystal and yuan joined us. It was fun interacting with the locals! Dul says we were having "Tigertalk" (a term loosely coined by them to make fun of ppl who were talking rubbish after drinking beer) But the funny thing is that none of us were drinking. But be intoxicated by the beauty of the place and knowing that we have 2 more days in little paradise.


4/4/06

Activities: Clam hunting/ Boom-netting (shiok)/campfire/a visit to the city

It was such a change to be awaken by the splash of the tides and not by the alarm or hp. I was literally awoken by the waves. Sitting at my bed, i could see the ocean right before my eyes. I surprise myself by waking up as early as (7am, GMT+7) when normally i'll sleep in till 1pm back at home. An exciting day await...

After breakfast, we were to hunt for clams. However, due to untrained eyes, we couldn't find any. With the help of the staffs, we manage to catch quite a handful (about 25 of them) They could be born with magnific and night vision eyes because they could really spot a crab or clam even in the dark. Incredible.

The highlight of the trip was the boom-netting. We took a boat out to sea and there was this even bigger boat waiting for us. They attached a net to the side of the boat and it's purpose is to catch us when we jump off the boat from the deck while the boat is traveling at full speed. Woohoo.. I though that that was a piece of cake compared to the platform jump (3 stories high) i have to perform before getting my gold-star certificate. But it was nothing like that. When the boat was traveling at high speed, i could not even stable myself. Ha ha.. After much cooing from the staff, i took the plunge. I tried that for a couple of times before requesting them to let me jump straight into the open water (w/o the net) as the net was really hurting and bruising my legs. That prove to be more fun! Its like jumping into the sea with the water embracing me from all sides! The breeze blowing in my face, warmth of the rays, coolness of the water and a great company. What more can i ask for?

After the boom-netting, we wanted to try the flying fox but i guess my body couldn't take it anymore. So we went back to our room for a nap before dinner. And after dinner, we took an hour journey ride to the city to get some exposure to the locals. We went to the city for some KTV session. ha ha.. Too bad, there is no K-box over there. Just some sleezy nightspot area. But the beer was like super cheap. $1.50 for a can. I told Dul that with that money, we can only get a can of Coke in Singapore.

Before i sleep, i think back of the marvelous day that i have spent. A great tan, some bruising on my legs and arms, beautiful photos, wonderful friends. How lucky i am.


5/4/06

Activities: Flying fox/ Shopping in the city/ Home

I wake up with a heavy heart knowing that it will be the last day there. All good things gotta end some day. Hmm.. Well at least breakfast was good to wash away the feelings. After that, we went for the flying fox. Good thing that my breakfast stay where they are suppose to be. It will be an ugly scene to be throwing up all over myself.

After that, we washed up and Dul arrand for our transfer to the city and we spend 3 hrs there shopping in their mall. Seriously, it sucks. There is nothing that i took fancy off. Its the girls' worst nightmare. With money to spend and nothing to buy. Its emotional suicide. Ha ha...



Afterthought:

I realise one thing about me through this trip. Not only am i a procrastinator, i am a hesitator as well.. Ha ha.. What's the difference right? Anyway, I am not as brave as i thought i am. Or rather used to be. Fear always gripped me and hesitating make the fear grew out of proportion. It happens to me all the time. Like the more we hesitate about something, we tend to do more rationalisation about why we should not do it. And try to convience ourself out of what we want to do. I'm not trying to say that we should plunge into things but that's just what we need at times. Because the more we think, the less we do.

I also realise that i have great appreciation for nature's beauty. I used to wonder why I love Geography so much even though i keep failing it. Ha ha.. Now i know. God's creation is perfect. He has a spirit of excellence and everything in it is perfect.

I'm inspired to earn more money to save up for my next trip outta singapore. It may not be loola the second time. maybe some other paradises tuck in other corners of the earth. Sound like ozzie to me. ha ha... Oh no, not Ozzie again!

Fool rush in.

I'm definately reading myself to bankcruptcy. Have spent the less dollar on at the bookstore. But its so freaking worth it. Damn... Maybe i'll like to be a critics for novels and movies and give my say with their work. Ha ha.. That's so interesting. I get to comment/compliment on their work and need not pay a single cent for it. Ha ha..

Seems like i'm recently embarking on a journey of self discovery of the possible future jobs that i might be interested in. Its quite entertaining for me. However, most of the jobs that i might like seems really unrealistic. These are some of the jobs that i have ever considered throughout my teenage years. Rather amusing.

Here goes:
Hotel Manager (after seeing Zoe Tay on some chinese drama with Tay Pin Hui), Parker Ranger (at Bluemountain or Yellowstone. ha ha), National Badminton Player, National Swimmer, Travel Journalist, Tour Guide, Translator (Chinese-English), Novel/Movie/Critics, Event Executive, Destination Developer, Personal Shopper (influence by Shoppaholic series), Tai-tai (Does it count? Well.. maybe not really that), and many more to come...

And what i am:
A Couch Potato wishing i am one of the above.

What i am going to do:
Wish harder and maybe i can really be one of the above.

Feeling:
Rathing depressing.


Enough said. Ha ha.. Anyway, let me put those out of my mind for now. There's a BIG celebration for my sis 21st bdae today. April Fool's Day. What if her friend don't show up? What if they play a prank on her? Who cares! It's not me anyway. Ha ha.. Just kidding.

Funny how time just flee right before my very eyes. 1 year have passed since my own 21st celebration. What actually take place on that day was a blur to me. I haven't even taste ANY food that my father painstakingly take to prepare at dawn. But still i taste the sweetness of their love to me. That's enough. Well... maybe i'll like to have one of those delicious skewer too.. Damn..

My dad is not going to be at my sis celebration as he is away at Guangzhou right now. Still I hope that he is here with us. The picture ain't complete without him.



-Does love have a reason?-

5 takes

*Dream Job Alert*

No, its not the Apprentices. Well... maybe its for some that love to climb the corporate ladder and be part of the rat race for fame and fortune.

Its the reality travel show that travel and living are having call the "5 takes". 5 Americans have to go thru an audition before being selected as travel journalists (Tjs) to travel the world and blog about their experience. A camera crew will follow them as well and wil be shown on channel 16. Haha.. Hell, they are coming to Singapore as well..

That's truely a dream job! Damn lucky! Well you can check them out at the website of travel and living. So super cool! Wish i am on that team. I hope that they will be recruiting in Asia as well. And then i'll pluck up all the courage i have and go for the audition. ha ha...

Life is getting better. Well... less boring. Going for a short get-away to Bintan next week. Sun, sea and the sand, here i come! Am quite excited about it. 3 days away from city life. That sound great!

I was just finishing on the 2 books by Frank McCourt. "Angela's ashes" and the second sequel 'Tis". It was brillantly written. Especially Angela's ashes. The memoir of the man's poverty-stricken childhood in Limerick; Ireland and how he overcome it. His writing is direct and unshamely expose his thoughts and experience. I can't help but feel sorry for his childhood yet he cleverly inject humour in almost all upseting situation. I could almost felt how he felt at certain point of time. Though i felt that if McCourt just end at Angela's ashes, it would have been better. With such a high expectation, 'Tis can be rather disappointing.

Gonna start a new book soon. "My sister's keeper" by Jodi Picoult. You know, my favourite part of having holiday is that i can read into the wee hours of morning and i still don't care. ha ha..

King Samuel

Had a tiring day today. Came back from work and ready to collaspe onto my bed. But not quite yet without letting off some stream. I really do enjoy working at the airport. Not only do i get to meet people from all walks of life, they are from different countries as well. Really interesting characters they have got. Well... yaya...booze also make them loosen up.

The other day, I met these 2 guys, from Australia and they are such funny people. They can really do stand-up comedies show. No doubt about it. Had me laughing all thru my work time. And today I met this guy from France. Samuel, working for NGO. I mean, i really like him. Really amazing guy with an interesting job. Enjoyed talking to him so much. All the humanitarian aid that he is helping with, the countries, culture and people he had met with. It sure helps that he is super good looking lah. Hehez..

My heart is filled with envy as i talk to each one of them. They have seen so much and know so much. When will it be my turn? Prolly soon. I pray so...

Gonna be a busy week. Gonna have a G12 conference at the expo starting thursday. God bless that event. Hmmm... Getting real late. Gonna go jump into bed and finally get the much awaited and needed rest.

Holiday is even more stressful than school days. Everyday, i have been cracking my brain as to how i should spend my days. When i am absolutely broke, it is unlikely that i can ask anyone out. simply spending my days aimlessly and wish that i could be out there and have fun. Wishing is an absolutely time-wasting activity that no one should indulge in. And it happen to be one of my favourite.

Well at least working is fun. Talking to people who have been around the world. It gives me a peep into the world as well. Maybe God is giving me a preview to the future that he will be blessing me with. The dream to see the world. The world will be my Oyster. Yummie!

Basically just bored with life for now. My brain is fried with all the TV i've been watching. Damn. If i am going to spend my life like that, i wish i am never been born. =( That's how bad it is...

Anyway, gotten my results already. Considering all the korean dramas i have invested my time in during study period. I am lucky i didn't fail any paper. Phew....

Hmm... at least i am planning on going to bintan next month. At least something i can actually look forward to finally. Its at this Loola Resort or something. Its gonna be fun. At least better than being home.

Reality check

Gotten a reality check this afternoon while shopping with mum. Finally realised that i have out grown those shops at Hereen and Bugis V. Hmmm... Told my mum that i have grown older. Indeed. Coming to 22 in another month. Scary thoughts. No wonder woman are afraid of exposing their age when they grow older.

Last weekend, I have a get together with my secondary school friends. We were just discussing how we should celebrate our 10 years anniversary next year. 10 long years! Incredibly amazing. Recently, i am finally waking up my sense that i am growing older. No longer the young girl that i was. Emerging to be a young woman. Exciting yet fearful.

Well, just hope that i can squeeze a short entry before the American's next top model. I am hooked on that reality Tv. So typical of me. Was quite disappointed that i missed the last episode as i was working then. Luckily today i got off.

Ciao for now.



A woman looking for her dream.

I haven't found what I am looking for. Because I haven't know what I am looking for. Living with a sense of unfulfillment inside me. A void that cannot be filled. What can fill that emptiness? The deep longing that even I do not know of. Something's missing. A gap that come between where I am and where I want to go. The distance makes me wanna cry.

Where is that place? My Utopia.

Someplace under the blanket of the stars. Some little quiet corner. Someplace which I can call mine. Take me there. Hold my hand and take me there. To where i want to go. Please don't let anything come into my way. Make my dream come true.







Over the Rainbow - Arlen-Harburg


Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds flyBirds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds flyBirds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

How time flies. Dad had been in Guangzhou for 2 weeks already. Been worried sick about him. I can hear from his tone that he doesn't like it there. I hope that he can overcome the transitional trial period. After that, all will be better. Hmm... Realise that maybe i am stronger than my dad. He is like a child sometime and need people to take care of him. Or maybe i am wrong. Its really very different over there i guess.

Exams over! Not really looking forward to getting the results.. Hmm... Gone back to Harry to work. Met really interesting events for the past couple of week. See, i used to work in penny black and this customer recognise me from there. Been 3 years or so. Always thought he look like brad pitt though. Haahaa.. He remembered my best friend and her sister too.. That's what i called leaving an impression.

I've been poisoned. By Korean Drama. Haha... Finshed full house during my exam week. Then now watch lovers in Paris. Paris is so romantic. Hmmm...


Just receive an email from yz. He always send me very nice songs with lyrics that makes me feel like out of this way. He always gave me a dreamy and magical feeling. I used to read from somewhere that the impression you have on others is actually how you percieve that person to be. How you have see him/her to be and not the actual himself/herself. Then it makes me wonder how i make people feel. It might not be the real me.. What might be the real you?

prozac nation

Every ending is a beginning. And every beginning begins because of an ending. Where do I begin? The story of me. People are concern with your beginning and how you end. But they are not interested in the process. Who gets to walk through the swamp of life? You! Who is with you? You!

I get frustrated all the time because of my inability to express my feeling in words. I get all this stuck inside of my, dying to get out, but trapped within my body. The agony of it all. Fighting its way out. The only way to release this feeling is to read. Why read and get more things stuck in your head? I don't know. When i read, it is as if the author is helping me to express what i truely want to say. They know what is in my head. I don't know how they know. But they just do. I admire them for that.

I have to write this fecking 1500 words short story and i don't know how to begin. I'll most prob going use my first paragraph and then go on to talk about the in between of my life with many fictional incident in them. I could have writen on any genre but choose to expose myself to her(ms hernie). Maybe its easier to write about oneself, which is not that easy anyway. Or maybe i want to shed lights onto some of my life darkest moment to someone who is willing to read. Haha.. tutors make the best candidates because they got no choice right?

Enough about writing. Just complete the book Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. Wonderfully writen. I love it so much! Ireland, Catholic, innocents of childhood. Not so much on the potato famine anyway but because of it i guess! Everything in ireland is because of the great famine isn't it? Should get a copy of it if there is time for extra reading. I recommend it!

Tomorrow. Oh how i dread the word tomorrow, especially if tomorrow is a tuesday. Service Day!!!! Having proficiency test tmr. God help me. With the silly menu and all. who can remember it? Can't even pronounce things like Ravioli a la Nicoise, Filet Mignon a la Bodelaise, Saumon Pochee sauce au tomates et Grand Marnier. How am i suppose to recommend? Maybe i should learn from the famous AMBER! and skip service altogether. Haha... Don't think i don't know you didn't go school huh! Hahazzz.. Catcha!

Hmmm... Have to go now. And study the bloody menu with silly French words which i don't know. Ciao.

Finally make it thus far. Project submission! CNY! All over. Well... technically CNY is not over yet but... anyway, you know what i mean right? I'm glad those sucky projects and presentation are all over. Which mean that exams are coming soon... :o( Which also mean the holidays are coming soon too. hahaz... That's really something to look forward to. Hopefully i can get a well deserved break. Maybe a trip to bintan with yilin and crystal? Hopefully.

Heard from a reliable source that Andre has gotta a girlfriend. Glad for him. Hope they will last anyway. I won't lie to say i don't feel the pang in my heart. But still... its over. Zhaoquan also found himself a girl by his side. That i am truely glad. Everyone has got somebody already huh.. Haha.. Which leave me what? Alone? hahaz... Or should i say i am preparing myself to meet the ultimate him? Only heaven knows.

Had a gahering with the girls last night. Jinwen, yiling, xueli and jojo. A strong feeling of nostaglic feeling overcome me. Thought of my most wonderful secondary school memories. How we used to be part of each other life. And now, we are fleeting memories of each others. Will we be friends forever? Can this friendship last till then? I don't think so. Haha.. But i really do hope so... I do really... Xueli, who used to be my best friend. Jojo who used to make me laugh so hard that i can cry, jinwen who is ever the supporting friend. Yiling the beautiful and fun girl. Meiyun, the girl i used to hate but now is ok. Haha.. ok sounded lame. But anyway.. ya.. people that used to be so impt.

Had so much feelings lately about the past. They been catching up on me. No specific person really. Its like suddenly I felt some really familiar feeling that i used to have when i am doing something or talking to someone. Like those feelings when i have badminton training after school, or those vision about the school hallway or even those very warmth feeling when i am surroinded by frds. Have those deja-vu feeling yet i know its not. There is this unexplain feeling that i keep getting. Familiar yet strange. I don't know how to better put it.

I really hope i can stop feeling all those. Make me wanna cry. Wanna go back in time. Yet i know its impossible. Gotta look ahead. Maybe it is far more exciting. Or maybe its a continuation of the past. Friends will continue to be friends forever. That's my prayer.

Fighting through all the demands of school work and social life leave me breathless by the time i crawl to my bed. Without a doubt, I make it through the day with God's grace. If not, I don't think i am able to make it thus far. All the blessings of good grades and smooth project members. All the 'on the dot' submission of assignment, the enlightening of tough projects. All came through at the right moment. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank God..

Schedules are packed to the brim, threatening my emotions to be disfunctional. Not that my emotions are keep in checked all the time (base on my history). Tension headaches, not eating again.. What are the tell-tales signs again? But i know i'm going to get through it once again. Like how i have manage the last few times. But why work so hard for? What do i want to get?

Being the leader of the pack ain't easy. Being a follower is even more difficult for me. Contradiction? That's my middle name. What i want?

Its back to the 'wanting and not having it' period again. It gotta strike me once in a while. Making myself feel useless and unfulfilled. Regrets, remorse, etc... What i want? That i do not know. But i know THIS is not what i want. Discontentment is the prison. How to be content when u know u can do so much more? What i want actually?

Just finishing ranting... Thanks for listening. Crawling back to bed now. Maybe the lights can finally be dimmed and a good night rest awaits. Or maybe not...



"How can i be found when i don't even know i am lost?

2006

No count down, no fancy party dresses, no dancing till wee hours of the morning. Xmas and new year just done pass like that. Nothing for me to remember by. By plain and simple. Yet i am happy.

Away from the crowds, from all the noises. That reason is enough reason for me to celebrate. Not forgetting the tonnes of xmas presents i have recieve. Haha... Anyway, u might call it anti-social. Homebody is what i said it is.

Actually the crucial part is not about how i celebrate xmas or new year. Its about what have gone by in 2005. Walking down memory land is something i do best. I have gain some and lose some. But in the end, i'm pretty satisfied with what i have.

a large part of the early 2005 is bout Andre.. Don't really feel like blogging about him because there's nothing much to say. Maybe just that i am glad its over. I think i am anyway. We are better off without each other. Me crossing over to adulthood with the 21st birthday marking the start of the journey. Then it was to Sentosa campus, the ultra long journey and the people watch on the MRT. the depression that haunt me once again and tearing me into pieces. Thank God that it was over. Through this, i have found God once again. big move to Expo and joining worship ministry, all the friends that have stood with me like shelley and tina, working at Gta and gaining industrial experience... well... its all part of 2005. All in a blink of an eye. Where have all the time gone to?

I hope that 2006 is a year of breakthrough for me. With many things being accomplished and fulfilling many things i hope to achieve. there is maybe only 1 thing that i want to learn in this new year. Time management. Haiz.. A procratinator is learning how to manage her time. I hope she don't procrastinate learning. hahaz...

Anyway, Happy New Year to all people reading this entry. God will bless u if u ask Him to. Speak it.







Genesis 1:3 And God said: "Let there be light, and there was light."

When i was sad

This is what i have put on my friendster for quite some time. I really like it.

Neither black nor white. Living in shades of grey. Certain days are brighter than others. Those days remind me to give thanks for small blessings. A walk in the park, quiet bus ride, indulging in my own thoughts, recieving a call from frds, looking at the stars, a silent prayer. Small things like this make life more bearable. Certain actions or words touches me more then others. Not difficult to let me love you. Just hold me close and never let me go. Always fall head over heels in love. Everyone wants to be loved. Me too.. I'm always a contradiction. Not that i don't know what i want. My requirements are too specific and no one can meet up to it. Always wanting to do my best and tiring myself in the process. But the outcome are always rewarding and never fails to justify why i work so hard for. Wanting to be a woman that He intended me to be. Still trying hard. Enjoy watching movies. But reality and movies differ too much. They make me sad. Reality are cruel and practical. Prefer to live by not knowing. But i know too much and the truth hurts. It hurts because i know it will stay this way. You lead me not to believe in Romeo and Heroes anymore. Faith. faith is sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. What if we persist and tried, i guess we'll never know.We have lost the faith. Money and power fade away. Live a rich life, dun die a rich man. Working too hard strip the joy in your life. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. What is most important in your life? Time and tide waits for no man. Don't seek happiness because happiness arise from circumstance. Look for inner contentment and joy will overflow. With peace, love and joy in your heart, all things are possible. Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal. Heaven is a place nearby so He won't be so far away. Seek and you shall find. My journey; ups and downs, joy and sorrow, conflict and peace. Birth and death. An epitome of life.

Friends or Foe

This is going to be one of my entries for my journal writing. Just let everyone have a peek of it. This is my 3rd. Hehe... Finally break that egg.

Well... While writing this, i have thought about many people i have met throughout my 21 years. Some are mere passing strangers and yet others have impacted me to be me.

People come and go into our life. Some will stay for a while and left footprints in your heart and you are never the same again. Others will go just as quickly as they come and leave you with a mere faded memory. There are also others whom you thought have come to complete your world only to find that they have left, reaping a piece of you with them and making you less complete than before. And there are those whom you thought have left, but only to know that they are back again. I believe everyone has encountered them in some point through their journey of life. For me, I have met all of them. Some are like angels sent from heavens to help me walk through the thorny path. Others are the ones that have help to create the thorny path for me to tread on. There are yet others waiting for me to be the one that guide them out of their difficult times. I believe that the good and the bad experiences I have with people have mould me into who I am today. They taught me invaluable lessons that can come only through heartaches and pain. The price for the lesson is my own tears. However, they make me a more mature person. I have learnt not to have expectations on people because all Man are fallible. The higher expectations I have of others, the harder I will fall when they failed to deliver the expectations. On the contrary, I also learnt how not to be cynical even in the midst of this complexity world. It is easy to put for us to put on a self protecting armour after being attack and wounded deeply several times. We put on a defensive wall and not allow anyone entering our lives and not trusting anyone because we no longer believe that there are any good left in the world. Nevertheless, it takes inner strength in a person to overcome the cynicism and strip off any doubts and embrace new faces in their life. They never know that they might just be embracing an angel in their world that might make them never the same again.




I'm never the same again because i have met you.

Never contented

The prison of discontentment has the most inmates. Its overpopulated and demand most attention from the prison warden. I'm one of them. What i have, i did not give thanks. What i don't have, i grumble and shout that 'life's unfair'. Life is indeed unfair. One has to accept it and be at peace with it else one can never be at peace with herself.

Changes is hard but it is not impossible. I want to try. I want to change. I want to be contented with what i have and what i don't have. There's this saying that goes: Help me accept the things i cannot change and help me have courage to change those that i can and help me have the wisdom to know the difference.

Well... Just finished the last book. Have to pay the library a visit again. Hopefully by tomorrow. Its hard to find time since projects are starting to pile up and i have make a new committment to start exercise. Went swimming just now. Covered 22 laps. Finally working those muscles. I hope its not a 3 minute kind of interest.

I went to Changi Airport just now in the afternoon doing a field inspection for my assessment. I'm not being biased or what but Singapore Airport is really something. It builds its facility around our needs and not the other way round like many others. However, i think dubai airport is another one to look out for.

Hmmm... enough about airport for today. I have writen a 4 page report on it and i'm not done yet. But the requirement is only 3 pages. Hope it'll do. I'm going to bed now since there's nothing else left to read. Ciao

Baptism Sunday

I declared to the world today that i belong to Jesus! I was baptised in church this morning. Its a physical act with many spirtual implication. Though i still feel the same, but i know i am very much different. In so many ways, i am a new creation, the old self has gone and the new has come. This has meant so much to me.

And so it is, back to school. Work are piling up and making me breathless and panting. Its all in my making. For 3 weeks, I have been busy entertaining dinner, movies and my own personal 'down' time. And the consequence? I gotta slogged off an entire week in school. I know its gonna be a Busy week for me. But i want to challenge myself to go swimming and jogging for this week. I gotta work off those extra kilos around my waist. The weighing scale is definately hitting the red zone. Damn, the festives periods are just round the corner. I'm so dead!

Back to the creative journal writing... Its still at number O. I should have expected that considering that i'm a procastinating queen. But i make sure that i'm gonna have at least 3 by the end of this week. The lesson is getting more and more interesting. With the tutor intriducing us to many good reads. One of which is 'Life of Pi'. Very humoursly written. I like..

I was doing my project research but i coouldn't take my mind off blogging so i came here to rant! I guess i better go now.


Its gonna be alright, cuz i know that my God save the day and i know His words never fail and i know my God has a way for me. Salvation is here. - Hillsong; Salvation

Just have a phone conversation with Zhaoquan. Realised that things have change so much between. First, there was the love at first sight, then slowly it develop into a deep heated love that blurs all reality then the quarrels and breakup. Resentment and anger sets in accompanied by jealousy and hatred. But now its all different. There is an unusual peace. Its a deep rooted care that comes from within and love isn't in the way to obstruct that. Enough said.

Its was Mambo Nite at Zouk last nite. It was the first time i went after their reopening. Was fun, fun and fun. Went with crystal, yilin, amber, nate and Kenneth. I was telling amber that i was born in the wrong era. I love retro, oldies and all the saturaday nite fever thingy. Grease is my all time fav too. Those were the days of the trend setters. Ladies and gents partying the nite away in diso, cruising the highway, black leather jacket, bell-bottom. poka dots prints. School and work is their last priority. HAha... Its party time everyday.

I'm meeting wendy later in the evening for Harry Potter! So looking forward to that! Will update once i have watch the show. Hehe...Amber watched it twice! Anyway, i have nothing to do now while waiting for wendy so decided to blog. Bored...

Emperor New Skin

Surprise Amber? I manage to don on a new costume without anyone's help. I did it by myself. What we've learn in year 1 dreamweaver classes did help alot though. Haha.. But actually its dummy-prove. Hehe

Had a discussion with my friends and they seems to think that i am a weirdo because i don't intend to look for a boyfriend. One even try to match make me with her friend who is suppose to be a Superstar 'weichong' lookalike. Gosh! Being single is a choice that i have make. Its not involuntary. I'm still waiting for God's best. They make me seems like an alien in this world or some sort of lesbian. Then they went on to saying all the things they look for in a guy. My God! Its all about dollars and cents. How materialistic people can be. Don't get me wrong. I don't dislike them. In fact they are rather good friends of mine. I just think that their belief systems is rather distorted beyond my belief.

Thank God for bringing me through today. I thought i can never make it thru today. I hate tuesday!!! At least for this semester. Its a wet and cold tuesday, ideal for pigging out at home.

Just completed 5 people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom. Nice read. But surprisingly, it didn't probe me into thinking deeper. I thought it will leave me much to think about. But it didn't. Now starting on a new book "catch me if you can".

I don't think i wanna continue writing becasue i gotta meet the girls for breakfast tomorrow before lesson and they wanna go Zouk. Gotta catch up with my sleep.

Lazy sunday

I have kept to my promise of updating my blog for the sake of training myself to write more and maybe by doing that, i'll finally get around to write my journals. By right now, the number of journals that i have wrote accumulated to ZERO. Big fat O. Seriously, its a real chore for me. Because i don't really like people reading my stuff. I know, i know... it contradict with the idea of blogging right. *Lost for words*

Anyway, had a long day yesterday. Woke up so early to go queenstown. Went Ikea to get a shoe rack and shop around. Was intending to have the famous swedish meatball for lunch but the sight of the queue is enough to kill my appetize. Was with Shelley and she brought me to this really nice place at i don't know where. Its call "Villa Bali".

It is, as the name suggest, reflecting the decor of Bali culture. Soft instumental music playing in the background and the sound of flowing water at the nearby lagoon. It has many private gazebo that cater to the guest's need for privacy. The furniture are make of rattan lookalike wood but were discoloured due to the constant exposure of the elements of nature. The whole area were planted with many bushes and trees that show off the rustic feel of Bali. On top of that, there were insects and crawlers that truely make you feel like you are in a tropical forest. At the entrance, there is a long bridge connect Villa Bali to the main road. The place claim to be an ideal spot to chill out at night but i think if you wanna truely admire the beauty of the place, its best visit in early evening.

Enough with the commentary. Its hard work. Wonder which publication wanna use me. Haha...
Oh by the way, visit club momo at night. Gosh, its really not up to the expectation. Their marketing effort is good it still lacks something. The crowds are not helping either. The only pretty thing you see are those dancers or the host. Other than that, its not worth it. But then again, the band is alright. But i can see that younger people will like it.

Hmm... TV showing Harry Porter. Wonder if half of Singapore have caught the lastest HP during this weekend. I heard that its all full house all over town. I'm gonna catch it this coming thursday. Can hardly wait. Gonna watch it with wendy. Full of anticipation already. Missed watching I am Sam last nite. I'm surprise that somebody still remember that i love that show and he msg me reminding me to watch it. With a box of tissue of course! It spur me into thinking that there are still people out there that might be looking out for me still. Thank God for them!

Gotta go, wish i can go on forever. Have to prepare for tmr's lesson. Angee staying over tonight. We're not going to slp i guess... Panda eyes! Hehe

Got a question to all bloggers. Who are your audience when you are blogging? Do you have a specific person in mind?

Writer's block

The second semester of my second year has just started. I'm into the second week of it. I was taking an interesting module called creative writing. In the first tutorial, we were to describe a person we knew and without thinking much, i describe my best friend, Wendy. It was so fun to describe what i think she is like and on top of that, i can add things onto her character to make her more dramatic. Its like painting a white canvas sheet with colours. I wonder how others will do up my painting. The first assignment was to hand up 15 journals within a month. Gosh, I even have trouble updating my blog how am i suppose to hand up 15 journals? Whenever i take out my writing materials, i seem to be suffering from the most dreaded writer's block. But when i blog, words just flow out. Maybe i should just blog out those 15 journals and print it out from here.

This new semester meant also to me. It shows me God's promise to me. His words never fail. Even though its the same journey, same campus and even the same classmates, the feelings were altogether different. Marvelous. But same classmates also posed a tricky situations. We gotta regroup out project group. I'm feeling really nice working with my ex members but were forced to split due to some inconsiderate people who just want to get their way by compromising others. But this has spur me onto doing my best and showing them that i can do well even with people that they discarded into my group. They were tough people to work with but i can do all things through Christ who give me strength.

Know some really nice people like yilin and crystal, yuan yuan and also belinda. Fun people to be with. But i also come across some back-stabbers. They didn't stab me of course but my dear friend. Just a word of comfort is that without the villians, there will be no good guys right? No point pondering over their actions. Let them crash and burn.

Recently, i got into a situation with some friends too. Actually 2 guys. One of them get me so pissed off that i don't think i'll ever want to meet him again. I mean, what's wrong with clashed schedule? He's busy and I am busy. And i get faulted for being busy or not answering my msg? Come on la, I am not oblidge to return their call. This is the problem with cell phone. Cell phone does mean that you can have direct assess to that's person but that doesn't mean that that person allows you to do it. I believe that you can't blame someone who just missed your call whether intensionally or accidentally right. You have your rights to call and they have their rights not to pick up. Damn it!

The other guy just abuse his rights that he has my number and keep calling me day and nights. I feel so bad for turning him down all the time but then again i tell myself that i have the rights to do it. You see, people like that just love to make you walk the guilt trip by accussing you of turning down their offer to meet up. They don't get the hint that you are really not interested or maybe they do. They just want to make you feel guilty that you are turning them down all the time and out tof the guilt, you'll say "yes".

Haiz... ever hear the song 'crazy' by 'Simple Plan'? I love that! It says that the world is going crazy and if you really open up your eyes to see, you will know that something is wrong, what's going on? It so apply to the world now. Bird flu, hurrican katrina and hurrican wilma, earthquake, tsunami, bali bombing (II), jordan bombing, people chopping others into pieces and throwing them in public area. I mean the list can go on and on. All these happens within the span of 1 year. The world and its people are going crazy. All these are the end time event that the bible are speaking off. I hope i am ready for it.

I HOPE YOU ARE READY FOR IT.

I once read a book called "She said yes". Before you rolled your eyes, its not about some romance book. Its bout a girl saying 'yes' at the face of death during the Colombine High School shoot out. By saying to 'yes' that she believe in God and Jesus, she was shot to death. Some people might say that she is stupid. But i think that she is dying for what she believe in. And whatever that she is believing got to be real enough for her to die for it. Following that chapter is a phase that say: "All of us should live life so as to be able to face eternity at any time." I was inspired by it and so sharing with you here.

Anyway, gotta go. Leave your comments. Would love to read them.




Reference: She said yes; the unlikely martyrdom by Misty Bernall

Rainbow always comes after the storm

If I was never trialed, I will never know what will be my threshold. Aparently I think God made me in such a way that He thinks I am strong enough to go through storms. He trust that He will never give me more than what I cannot bear. Rainbow always comes after the storm. Especially after a big storm, the peace that follows will not be understableable by mere human mind. It surpasses all understandings. I guess I am seeing the rainbow now. The colourful hues of the rainbow paints my heart with joy. Come and share with me this peace. Because I'll never know when the next storm might comes. But one thing for sure, I know I'll get through all those storms as well. Becasue the rainbows await me after that. Praise God.

Been working at the travel company for 2 weeks now. Everyday been facing the pc till my eyes blur and my brain cell is gonna be grilled by the radiation of the pc. Hahaz... Just kidding. Anyway, thankful for that job. Though there are no cute guys in the company! Haha! Well the money is enough to lure me outta bed each morning. Its not much actually. Its at least keeping me alive. Its at clifford centre. Can drop if you wanna go lunch together. Hehe..

Just gotten my results last friday. Didn't do badly. Better than what i expect. But maybe because i have lower expectation this semester. Its a rather tough semester. Hopefully next sem will be much better. "fingers cross"... Had an 0.06 increase in my GPA. Kinda little right? But i work my buttz off that. Haha. Well.. I guess my results does call for a celebration. Anyone wanna celebrate for me?? hintz.!

I guess it is always just me. Everyone doesn't seems to have issues. Or rather not as much issues as i have. I'm a problematic child. =p Actually what do people do on weekends? I seems to just rest at home or go to church. I guess the streets are packed with people and i seriously dislike crowds. Maybe I'm just closing myself up. I don't know. It is either that or I seriously i have a social problem. I wont' want to think about that. Both sucks!

Hmmm... This saturday I'll be out in the street selling flags. I'm representing TOUCH community services. If anyone is approached by one of us, be sure to donate ok. All for a good cause. Blessed are those who bless others. Hehe... I got no money so i donate my service to them lor. Don't just walk away k.




Psalm 100:5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations"

His favour upon me

In the middle of the study week now. How could i possibly feel so calm? Peaceful and quiet in my mind. They used to make the loudest noise. Seeking my full attention almost unwillingly. But they are hush. They are contained. Because of His favour. Thank you Lord.

Hmmm... feeling rather happy right now. I have finally gotten a job that i all along wanted. A million thanks to Wendy and her cousin. Can't wait for me to start work already. Starting on 12th sept. Though the pay isn't great and I'm still so grateful. I hope there is where i belong. Even though it is just a vacation job, it will help me determine if i wanna go into that line or not. Thanks Wendy for making it possible for me. My mom told me that you are too vexed by me asking u so often. But i know better. I know we are best friends and that don't even count as anything!

I don't know why i kept thinking of Wendy recently. Always wanting to meet but time don't permits. But i hope that the coming holiday, we'll have plenty of catching up to do. I love ya girl! =) Let's paint the town red!

Everything is falling into place for me. Even my results. I thought i will do badly this sem but it seems to be pretty alright. Hope the exam will turn out good as well. The mind seems to quieten down alot too. Or maybe i have learn how not to give in to its request. That's a lesson hard to unlearn. Well.... 4 months of semester is finally coming to an end next friday. The last paper will mark to closure of the first part of my junior year. I am counting down the days to graduation already! ahaha... A bit impatient right.

I just finish the book "waiting for God's best". And i intend to really wait for his best. I don't want to jump at any opportunity that comes along that might seems to be attractive. The worst enemy of best is good. And i won't even settle of second best. Only the best. And i will trust Him to give me the best in His timing.

I'm quite excited because we are having a chalet at Sentosa. The good old girlfriends from secondary school. Hehe... Its been a long time since the girls can relax becasue they are all working hard. As for me, i'll take this opportunity to build back our friendship. 3 days at the beach. Woohoo.. can't hardly wait. Just hope that the chalet is far away from TAS (my campus). Hahaz... won't wan to be reminded of my school while enjoying. It just spoils everything.

Darn, gotta get back to my books already. Updates soon!

Bewitched

I just caught the movie "bewitched" last night with Clamen. Enjoyed the show so much. It would be perfect if i could just wriggle my nose and i'll get whatever my heart desire. Imagine waking up in the morning and realise that it is time for school. I'll just wave my wand and i'll have a couple of hours more to sleep. The train is so crowded but i'll just wriggle my nose and everyone disappear. Haha.. sorry peps.. just having a fanatasy of being a witch. A good witch. I would even need a car. A broom stick will be fine. The branded broomstick from Harry Porter. "Nimbus2000" right? Anyway, had a great time with Clamen over dinner, movie, coffee and night chat. It's always good to meet up with old friends.

Talking about friends, i think my secondary school friends are all too busy. Jinwen can just buried her head in pile of work. Xueli, i don't know what she is up to actually. Boyfriend i guess. Meiyun and Jorine also busy with work and many other stuff. Yiling starting school soon. Haiz... Friendship gotta make effort if not it can't last. Well..

I get came back from church. Had a wonderful time. Had cell group with Shelly and zhuan. Really nice. I simply love God so much now. He has done wonderful things in my life. I have decided to walk with him all the days of my life. Talking about church, my senior pastor is having a world class magic show this 27 or 28 of august. I don't know who is reading my blog. But whoever is, even strangers, i hope you all are interested in coming to this event. It will blow your mind away. Contact me if u are interested. Leave me a comment and i will get back to you for sure.

Phew... 2 reports handed up and marketing presentation is over. However, more things to finish next week. 1 online quiz, 2 interview, 1 presentation and an excution theme project for cooking. Wow.. i really need the strength. But i know i will have it. I know He will provide. 2 weeks more and it will be study break. 1 month more it will be the long awaited holidays. Got to work to support myself. I hope i can find a good paying job.. Haiz... $ is a double-edged sword.

I just simply love Corrinne May. Did i mention that i write her an email and she replied me? Avirl went to her concert and she said that it was great. I hope she will have one more concert in Singapore. I will definately go. I think Shelley would love to be there too. Corrinne May is a Christian singer. Most of her song is about how God is in her life. I think they are inspiration and motivating. I hope i can be a singer too. Haha.. Hope lahh. And i hope for a lot of things...




let my cup overflows. i saw the work of the holy spirit tonight. He work through me. I know i won't be able to say what i say. It was Him. Thank you for the gift.

A new creation

A heart transplant could mean that a person has gotten a new lease of life by the mercy of another. The new heart enable the person a second chance in life. A second chance to be happy and cheerful once again. - analogy

God is that person who is so gracious and mercy to me by giving me a new heart. =) A long awaited wait but worthwhile. He dried my tears with his bare hand when i am crying. He polished the diamond that was no longer glitering. I just want to say thank you Lord.

I hope i will learn from this. Not to squander away this chance like how i always used to. I used to be complacent. Thinking that it was over. But it came back again and again to haunt me. I hope i will learn my lesson. This shall be the last time. I will do the outwardly work and Thou shall do the inside job.

I just gotten a call from Germany from Tina telling me about her work and also the places she went to visit. Such an unforgetable memory. Visiting palaces and museums. I look forward to my chances in future.

I guess i haven't mention before. My dream job is to stomp around the globe, visiting cultural attractions to natural geographical landform, staying in posh hotels to B&B, dining on street food to fine cuisine. Thereafter, i will write reviews after reviews on magazine and travel journals of my experiences. I'll be like the travel guru. Whatever i say is a must-try, people flock to try it. Countries sought after me to boost their tourism industry. Or i will be working for discovery travel and living (or of similar interest), i'll be a host and travel around the world for rare finds. Hehe... I travel and get paid! Shit, did i mention it is a dream job? Sounds more like a fantasy huh? At least i have something to look forward to.

Imagine living in Singapore, i'm so deprived of natural wonders, exotic people and culture. I don't want to live in the box. I feel like i'm in the centre of the box. So feckin' centre. Haha... Imagine going to melbourne and visit the 12 apostles, diving in the great barrier reefs saying hello to the corals, camping with the wild beasts in yellowstone national park, smiling in front of mona lisa in Louve museum, riding the waves on Bondi beach, ect... oops i think i am biased. Did i mention Aussie 3 times? I simply love australia. Did i mention that the Australia Tourism Board's advertisement is my favourite advertisement in the whole world?

Finally, i am writing something happy. something to look forward to. Haha... maybe when i think of traveling, i feel free. *shrug*

I went marina bay last nitez to support pastor Khong in his magic show. Saw weiwen and siqi. I wonder how they get up the seats without risking getting their feet soiled. Mine was so damned soiled. Blame the weather. But at least it wasn't raining. Didn't manage to watch the rest of the concert. Went off after the first performance. We went TCC at boat quay after that. Had sucha good time chatting with the girls. Hopefully there is much more to come. Had so much coffees and cake. I wonder of there is alcohol in the dirnks. Everyone was behaving like they were drunk. Or maybe we were just enjoying ourselves too much.

Gotta go, DAd cooked dinner. Zhaoquan coming over to my place for dinner and watch the fireworks together.

Freedom in Christ

I'm going round in circle. going round and round. Like the horse carrousel in magical theme park. Going round and round. But mine wasn't so beautiful, mine wasn't so attractive. Mine was was going round and round. For five years, it has been going round and round. I thought it was going somewhere, i thought it was far from where i have been. But it's still going round and round.

I put on my worn-out mask. Everyday, it was on me. Such brave front. I had that mask. For five years it was with me. My worn out mask. I feel hideous without my mask. I can't face no one. I thought i was pretty and i thought i was real. But nobody know the real me so i had on my mask. I have decieved everyone. I have me decieved. I don't need a mask anymore. I am the mask.

All that is going to change now. I hope it will. Gone are the merry-go-round and the mask. The past will be dog-earred in my page and they will leave a stain. But i will continue reading the book until have reach the last page. And the ending of the story will be : "And she live happily ever after. "

Happily ever after?

This best lesson you can learn in life could be that there is no such thing as forever. Only God can provide eternal and forever. Human just fail to do so. I used to want friends that are forever, want boyfriend that last till the end of horizon. But i came to realise that it's not possible. The higher the expectation, the harder you will fall. Be prepared for that day when people you love will leave you. There is no such thing as forever. Maybe i have grown and see the cynical side of life. But that's the way it is. Never hold things to dear to you. You are heading towards doom. The best thing that can ever happen is the moment and memories you once shared with them. At that point of time, remind yourself that it might be the last time you have with them. Never take joy for granted. it doesn't come easily anymore.
I've learn to be happier this way. Taking things as it is and never put much hope in others. Hope in the Lord and i shall be rewarded. With His ever-lasting peace and joy. Let's hope all things work for the good of all man who love Him.
Hmmm... I miss my friends suddenly. Wendy, jinwen and xueli. Hurhur... But i'm kinda glad that for next two weeks i'm having holiday. Thur having accounting test. And i'll be free! well at least for 2 weeks. Just got to know some China girls. Esp Zhou hua. Nice girl to chat with. Anyway, shout out to Wendy! I miss you babe! I do read your blog when i go online k. Happy?? Hehe

When all else fades away

And so it is, life still goes on. Even when her hero has left her heart. Life still has to go on. Nobody says life is easy. Forgiveness comes easy but forgetting takes a lifetime. The touch that comes from him doesn't comes easy. The million thoughts that accompanied with it seems to explode in her mind. "What a wonderful warmth that radiate throughout" The musky signature smell that is solely from him. Perfume mixed with the bitter-after-taste of his cigarette. Such a heavenly bitter-sweet memory. She cannot forget. She will not forget. The sound of him when he is getting near. The familiarity of it all. She'll never hear it again. The humour that he has, bring curve to her lips. Smile, no more. She says goodbye to it all. Goodbye to everything that she knew.

She hasn't lost him. She can't lose him if she hasn't has him in the first place. He was never her's. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Sorrowfully sweet. Her hero is gone. The promise to be a better man seems fulfilled. The ring that hung on to her finger no longer stood there. Replaced by the white band that took it's place that wasn't baked by the cruel sun. In times, it will goes away too... Maybe memories will fade away too... Nothing last forever, except GOd's love.

Goodbye to u... Parting is such sweet sorrow. Anticipation of the next meeting and the despair of the time in between.

Never put all your milk into one fridge

Man are weapon of mass destruction. I can never fully comprehend what Man is capable of doing. And i can also say that i won't even know what i can capable of until i am being forced to make a decision. Usually the things that hurt us most are words and actions done by Man. And they are usually the closest friends you have. Quoting from YZ, he said it's like opening a back door for people to put knives into us. Because we are not guarded with close friends, we are stabbed by them, something even without us knowing it. That's a very scary thoughts. But.... Never put all your eggs into one basket. I have learned that lesson in a very painful and hard way. Don't walk my footstep.

I was reading this book the other day and they are saying that happiness is a choice we make. The moment we wake up we can choose how we want to spend our day. I believe that by constantly choosing to be happy, it become something that is drilled into us and slowly it become a habit. At first, like every other thing in life, is always a struggle. It's always easy and require a certain strength. People who live life without much thoughts haven't live at all. They have not seen dark places and therefore they cannot appreciate the lights. But fear not! Your turn might be next. Hahazz...

The first week of school has just ended. Not much lesson except some briefing and modules explanation. But it's gonna be a tough sem for me. I've got 8 modules and all of it don't seems easy to cope. But it's His strength that will guide me through. The journey to and fro school isn't easy. Everyday is like fighting in a battle for MRT seats. We are like playing 'quickest feet first'. Haha... But at the same time gotta pretend as if we are not aware of other people's needs for seat. Hahaz... That's so bad! But you gotta be bad when u are half awake in the morning and also half dead in the evening....

Hmmm... Anyway, enough of blogging for tonight. TAta

I was really psych about going to a new campus at sentosa and staying there for a year to complete my junior year. But everything changes yesterday. I analysis the whole sentosa thingy and conclude that it is just a waste of time, resourse and money. Maybe all that thoughts came when i got to travel 1hr and 15mins to the new campus from my house. I used to take only 20mins to reach TP. Ok, i am not bias here even though i need to wake up an hour earlier each day. I don't even know why we are shifted there now. I see no future alliance with the working partners there. Lesson still more or less revolve around the school. So, it's basically shifting to a new campus all for nothing. Maybe it is one big marketing tool to market the HTM dipolma. No! I don't hate my course. The tutors are really great. Maybe i haven seen a real reason why we are shifted over there. It seems glam at first but all that glitter are not gold. It might just be a mirage glittering in far distance and when you walk towards it, it is just derelict. I do hope they can justified why we are shifing there. I hope by blogging this, i won't get into trouble. Wendy told me bloggers can be sued for defirmation. But i am not belittling my school's decision. I might not see what they see yet. Or vise versa.

Anyway, enough of blagging about the long traveling distance (i just can't seem to get over it.) I'm going to Batam tmr. Coming back on Sunday. No big deal. Just a super short trip. Have not felt the excitment just yet. Maybe tmr i will feel it on the ferry. Second time on the ferry. First time was when i was still crawling. Saw it at my family album and my mum told me i was on my way to Batam. Haha... Pretty long time. Wonder what will i see there. Maybe just the beach. But it's enough for me. I'm a beach bum. Well... pretty much i guess.. Don't think i will be taking alot of pictures because i decided not to bring my digital cam along. I can use my Nokia 6260 cam! Hehe... I just bought it last thursday. And damn... The price dropped $60.00 within the next two days. What is mine will be mine right.. Too bad... Money can't hurt me that much. Love can.

School gonna start next tuesday. 4 months of really intensive schooling. God, i have got 8 modules. 2 of which are more relax. But still alot to cope. I hope i can get good results this coming semester. Oh!! I'm in year 2 now. Can't wait for the day where i graduate. Already having the 'can't hardly wait for graduation' symptoms already. 1 down, 2 more years to go.. I will persist till then! I have to. Got no choice. Well... my ideal job... Hahaz... Dream job is a much better word because i can only have it in my dreams. I want to work for lonely planet and related industry. Write travel books for them. Go to different country, live in their hotels, dine at famous places, sightseeing at wonders of the world. All that while not spending a single cent and getting paid for it. Hahaz... Well... That's my aim anyway. Destination development sounds pretty cool too. And realistic. Hahaz... But Walt Disney says if you can dream it, you can do it. I want to do it!

Ok... Got to go pack my stuff. Bikinis, sun screen, towel. Batam!! Here i come!!!!!





Waiting for a revelation from Him. As i surrender all to You. Take away what is not from You and give me what is intended for me.