of a dose of sanity, please

The mind plays trick. It really does.

It deceived you from the truth, blind you from seeing what you actually need to see. It leads you further from reality. So far away.

Sometimes it makes you sad, but tears you cried flow inward. Deep into the cortex of your soul. Nobody can see what's going on your mind. Neither could you. It's funny isn't it?

Sometimes it makes you afraid, but the fear your felt is groundless and you couldn't hold on to anything to support you. It's ridiculous isn't it?

Sometimes it pushes the people you love away, it didn't began like that but it eventually does.

Sometimes it makes laughter goes on strikes, killing the joy within you.

You get angry because this shouldn't be the way. You wanted to scream but only manage a slight whimper. You grew strenghless allowing it to overtake every part of you till you can no longer fight.

The darkness came overshadowing the lights.

Lost but found.

There is often a desire to close down this blog because I felt that I never have the time to blog anymore. Once, it was my passion to write down my thoughts and share them with people but now that passion has dwindled to a barely-there, lukewarm attempt.

Someone once told me not to find a job that coincide with my passion because it will be as good as killing that passion. "Why make your passion a chore?"

In my job as a marcomm, I have to devote at least 75% of my time producing communication materials, press releases, newsletter articles copy writing for ads. After so much writing during work, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to write some more.

But there is also another saying which says: "Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life".

So which is then the true mantra?

Will doing something you love everyday makes that a chore eventually?

I believe that it will.

However, it doesn't mean that it has to be.

I felt that I was a little despondent after working for awhile. Day in and day out the same thing. The initial enthusiasm encounter a life-threatening plunge and I believe that if I don't do something about it, it will lead to a catastrophic ending.

So I pray....

God really did came to intervene and did a heart surgery for me.

He let me see that He has already blessed me abundantly. Not many people can claim to do what they love but He has blessed me with that. My heart of discontentment change to a heart of thanks-giving. I saw my situation through the eyes of His and it makes sense to me that it has indeed been a blessing.

He has also blessed me with people whom always give me timely advises that reveals the very word of God to me.

Yes.... we will all grow tired at one point in time doing what we always do. But God always give a renewal of your heart if you asked Him to.

I was lost but now am found.