If I have follow my emotions today, it would have been a bad day. Not even Daniel Powter's bad day could have rescue me out of the abyss of frustration. It all boils down again to making choices even whenI don't feel like it.
I had a verbal conflict with my sis this morning. It always started with me using her stuff or wearing her clothes. I don't and cannot understand why couldn't I? We are sisters after all right? Can the kinship of sisterhood be destroyed just because the owner of a sweater demands to wear it for that day and thus make the other person take it off? I guess for my sister, it could be. How sad to know it.
It sounds even more pathetic if you have eavedrops on our conversation this morning..
Sis: Have you seen my black sweater?
Me: Yea, I'm gonna wear it.
Sis: I AM GOING TO WEAR IT (walking away and knowing that she has win the arguement).
That's all she needs to say. And me, struggling with my own emotions, withhelding myself by slashing her, hard with my words. But I hold my tongue, instead I walk away. Walking away doesn't make a person weak. Sometimes, it takes stregth to keep quiet too. So I sat there pondering hard how can I love a person that is so unloveable? We even quarrel over tissue paper! 30cents/packet! Such an insignificant object could make me see a person's heart. Such a selfish, self-centred heart?
Has she has no respect for her flesh and blood? Respect is too diplomatic a word. Or should I say, has she has no love for her own sis?
No, there isn't any love.
I would determined by that piece of tissue paper. That's is the measure of her love for her sister. Cheaper than a litmus paper, but it direct me the colour of her heart. Neither blue nor red.
Is this the measure of her heart?
I fear so....
Why has we gone so far from each other? How can two person be so similar yet has become so different at the same time? How has the distance crept between us, leaving only a gap to fill the void?
Slowly but gradually...
Unknowingly but eventually...
That is how it happen.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
All about love
I have witnessed a marriage solemnization today at Fort Canning ROM. When the couples were exchanging their marriage vows, a single tear slide down my cheek. At that moment, I was touched by the promises that the man and wife have vow to keep. And I thought to myself: "such a sacred union that God has created when He intend man to leave his parents and stay with his wife.
I pray that when I have found the man that is worthy for me to exchange such vows with, we'll keep the promises we made in our heart.
I feel honoured to be invited by my good friend in her matrimony. And I pray that her marriage will last her lifetime.
However, I couldn't help myself but to think of the other side of the coin. (No implication to anyone) In this perverse world, it is a commonplace for adultry and divorces to take place. Families are broken up and children were force to grow up under dysfunctional environment. People always say "rules are meant to be broken and promises are meant not to be kept". And so, why in the first place will they commit to such dire promises of taking care, caring, comforting and loving another person in the first place? Why make such tall promises that they couldn't keep?
I feel very fortunate and blessed coming from a duo parents family. However, not all my friends are like me. In my younger days, I was naive about the fact that duo parents family are the most natural thing in the world. I haven't heard of any divorce families when I was in my primary school or not even when I am in secondary school. It was until when I was in JC and Poly do I encounter such things. Not only that, it seems that increasingly, I came to know more and more friends that are not living with both parents.
I have to say that I am not trying to put these people down. I don't even have the slightest intention to do that. Why I mentioned it is because I feel sad... When parents divorce, children are the worst victims. There is nothing they would want most than to wish for their parents to get back with each other. I swear that it could be their birthday wish every year.
People always ask the age-old question: "What is Love?"
My answer will be this: "It is a delibrate choice we make everyday to love our husband/wife. It is a decision we make to love our wife/husband even when they say something hurtful. It is a conscious choice we make to love no others than our wife/husband.
Love is a choice we decided to make and keep to it.
Love is a choice.
I used to romantizied love thinking that it is all about butterfly in the tummy, dizzy and light-headed feelings we get when that someone is near. It is about sweaty palms and flowery kisses. It is about sugar and spice and everything nice. But it is much more than that.
All these will somehow fades away when one gets into marriage. Feelings are not constant. We can feel love for one day and not so tomorrow. So does it means that when marriage kills the passion of love? No I say. More like the mundane kills the passion.
And so how can passion be kept alive in marriage?
It is a choice we decided to make.
"Let what God has put together not be separated by man". - Such simple words with yet profound understanding.
Cheers to that. Or shall I say "yum sheng"!
I pray that when I have found the man that is worthy for me to exchange such vows with, we'll keep the promises we made in our heart.
I feel honoured to be invited by my good friend in her matrimony. And I pray that her marriage will last her lifetime.
However, I couldn't help myself but to think of the other side of the coin. (No implication to anyone) In this perverse world, it is a commonplace for adultry and divorces to take place. Families are broken up and children were force to grow up under dysfunctional environment. People always say "rules are meant to be broken and promises are meant not to be kept". And so, why in the first place will they commit to such dire promises of taking care, caring, comforting and loving another person in the first place? Why make such tall promises that they couldn't keep?
I feel very fortunate and blessed coming from a duo parents family. However, not all my friends are like me. In my younger days, I was naive about the fact that duo parents family are the most natural thing in the world. I haven't heard of any divorce families when I was in my primary school or not even when I am in secondary school. It was until when I was in JC and Poly do I encounter such things. Not only that, it seems that increasingly, I came to know more and more friends that are not living with both parents.
I have to say that I am not trying to put these people down. I don't even have the slightest intention to do that. Why I mentioned it is because I feel sad... When parents divorce, children are the worst victims. There is nothing they would want most than to wish for their parents to get back with each other. I swear that it could be their birthday wish every year.
People always ask the age-old question: "What is Love?"
My answer will be this: "It is a delibrate choice we make everyday to love our husband/wife. It is a decision we make to love our wife/husband even when they say something hurtful. It is a conscious choice we make to love no others than our wife/husband.
Love is a choice we decided to make and keep to it.
Love is a choice.
I used to romantizied love thinking that it is all about butterfly in the tummy, dizzy and light-headed feelings we get when that someone is near. It is about sweaty palms and flowery kisses. It is about sugar and spice and everything nice. But it is much more than that.
All these will somehow fades away when one gets into marriage. Feelings are not constant. We can feel love for one day and not so tomorrow. So does it means that when marriage kills the passion of love? No I say. More like the mundane kills the passion.
And so how can passion be kept alive in marriage?
It is a choice we decided to make.
"Let what God has put together not be separated by man". - Such simple words with yet profound understanding.
Cheers to that. Or shall I say "yum sheng"!
Monday, September 11, 2006
Ben
A lot of good things are happening to me recently and most of it involve my family. I am sure that God is hearing my prayers and making things happen for me and my family, especially my borther. I have a closer relationship with him now. And the relationship he has with others are not exclusively with the computer or with the people he met at 'maplestory'. haha. I thank God for that. I am truely glad...
Work's excitment has been picking up. We get to plan their marketing campaign, attend the management meetings and get to organise some of their events for them. We did a proposal for the manager of how we want to run the campaign and he is calling for a meeting tomorrow to hear us out! Wow! And we are only forth day into the job. Can't believe how God has blessed me! Indeed, truely, I am blessed.
However, the down side to all these is waking up early. At 6.30AM to be precised. Even Ben, who has to attend morning assemble at school wakes up later than me. And every morning, the bed seems to have a gravitational pull towards me and I can't say NO to it. =( Sobz.. I thought I'll never be caught saying this, but... I think schoolings are more flexible and I kinda miss it.
Right now, my eyes are failing me as I type this.. I can't go into a slumber just sitting here. Haha...
Hmm.. Another day before everyone from school will officially start their SIP. Crystal and Yilin will start their work at the service apartment, Mais will start her hospitality training, amber at her sunny island of Sentosa. And 5 months later, everyone will go back to TP and share about our experience. 5 months.. Neither fast nor slow. All those that are dear to me will be sorely miss by me, especially those far away, especially those that are in China, particularly Shanghai. Haha *hint hint*
Been reading "The memoirs of Geisha" for over one week and still can't seems to finish it. I guess this is one book that I'll have to put it down halfway. It is not particularly enticing to me, just now my cup of tea i guess. Hmm... Have to catch up on my reading. Just check out the bookstore during the weekend and there are so many new books on the shelves. Hafta get my hands on them before my brains are left on the shelves too..
Alright, hafta go now. Sleepy... yawnnzzz... Night world.
Before the world began, you were on His mind. And every tears you cried was precious in His eyes.
Work's excitment has been picking up. We get to plan their marketing campaign, attend the management meetings and get to organise some of their events for them. We did a proposal for the manager of how we want to run the campaign and he is calling for a meeting tomorrow to hear us out! Wow! And we are only forth day into the job. Can't believe how God has blessed me! Indeed, truely, I am blessed.
However, the down side to all these is waking up early. At 6.30AM to be precised. Even Ben, who has to attend morning assemble at school wakes up later than me. And every morning, the bed seems to have a gravitational pull towards me and I can't say NO to it. =( Sobz.. I thought I'll never be caught saying this, but... I think schoolings are more flexible and I kinda miss it.
Right now, my eyes are failing me as I type this.. I can't go into a slumber just sitting here. Haha...
Hmm.. Another day before everyone from school will officially start their SIP. Crystal and Yilin will start their work at the service apartment, Mais will start her hospitality training, amber at her sunny island of Sentosa. And 5 months later, everyone will go back to TP and share about our experience. 5 months.. Neither fast nor slow. All those that are dear to me will be sorely miss by me, especially those far away, especially those that are in China, particularly Shanghai. Haha *hint hint*
Been reading "The memoirs of Geisha" for over one week and still can't seems to finish it. I guess this is one book that I'll have to put it down halfway. It is not particularly enticing to me, just now my cup of tea i guess. Hmm... Have to catch up on my reading. Just check out the bookstore during the weekend and there are so many new books on the shelves. Hafta get my hands on them before my brains are left on the shelves too..
Alright, hafta go now. Sleepy... yawnnzzz... Night world.
Before the world began, you were on His mind. And every tears you cried was precious in His eyes.
Friday, September 08, 2006
CX 3rd day
I should be sitting in front of the telly set watching 'ghost whisperer' right now but not sure why am i still yacking away in front of the computer. I should be so sick and tired of facing the computer screen considering that this is exactl what I have been doing for the past 3 days.
The first few days of my attachments was spent learning their internal system. Well... quoting from Dakota Fanning in 'uptown girls', "foundations are the building blocks of fun". Well, I hope she is right. my immediate supervisor is a very nice. She has already drawn out some of our internship activities and it seems nothing sort of dull. So excited to really get started.
But really, the down side to it is that i've gotta wake up at 6.30am every morning! Before the sun is up. Just when I thought school is over. Duh! And the 'never-on-time' me have to struggle hard to reach the office before the clock struck 8.30am. So far so good. But its only the 3rd day. Haha...
Well, I guess I don't have much creative juice coming out of me right now. All I could think of is Jennifer Love Hewitt in her lovely vintage dress and 'oh so dramatic' long lashes. ciao.
The first few days of my attachments was spent learning their internal system. Well... quoting from Dakota Fanning in 'uptown girls', "foundations are the building blocks of fun". Well, I hope she is right. my immediate supervisor is a very nice. She has already drawn out some of our internship activities and it seems nothing sort of dull. So excited to really get started.
But really, the down side to it is that i've gotta wake up at 6.30am every morning! Before the sun is up. Just when I thought school is over. Duh! And the 'never-on-time' me have to struggle hard to reach the office before the clock struck 8.30am. So far so good. But its only the 3rd day. Haha...
Well, I guess I don't have much creative juice coming out of me right now. All I could think of is Jennifer Love Hewitt in her lovely vintage dress and 'oh so dramatic' long lashes. ciao.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
corporate world
Today mark the last day of my free and easy lifestyle. Starting tomorrow, I'll be thrown into the dog eat dog working world. Sounds scary huh.. Well, to me at least. I'll be the Shenton way girl clucking my heels up and down the pavement. Have to figt with all the crowds! Oh man, I HATE CROWDS. Everywhere I turn, I'll see them. They erked me like hell. Tsk tsk tsk..
The only good thing that came out of this is that these few days, i have been shopping for my work clothes. Shoes, clothes, bags and you name it.. Hehe... Retail therapy is the best therapy, or so they say. Hehe... Looking my best so as to leave a lasting impression!
So i guess today will be my sabbath day. Doing nothing but relaxing my mind, willing it to get ready for work tomorrow.
Just last saturday, I caught the show "Devil wears Prada" and it reminded me of how it might be working in the real world. But then the purpose of watching the show is actually to admire those fashion label and little did I know that there is a moral behind the story. I think everyone should really go watch it. It is very entertaining.
I guess I better stop here. Wait till my attachment start, I think there will be more things to blog about. Till then. Ciao
The only good thing that came out of this is that these few days, i have been shopping for my work clothes. Shoes, clothes, bags and you name it.. Hehe... Retail therapy is the best therapy, or so they say. Hehe... Looking my best so as to leave a lasting impression!
So i guess today will be my sabbath day. Doing nothing but relaxing my mind, willing it to get ready for work tomorrow.
Just last saturday, I caught the show "Devil wears Prada" and it reminded me of how it might be working in the real world. But then the purpose of watching the show is actually to admire those fashion label and little did I know that there is a moral behind the story. I think everyone should really go watch it. It is very entertaining.
I guess I better stop here. Wait till my attachment start, I think there will be more things to blog about. Till then. Ciao
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